When people become adults, they will go through the process of falling in love, building up their relationship, and eventually entering the marriage hall. It can be said that a normal person's life, inevitably married, have children two things. If you don't get married, your parents will force you to get married, and your relatives and friends will push you to get married, as if the people who don't get married are abnormal people. Couples who don't have children after marriage, others will think they have problems, and, thousands of years of feudalism in China that people have no posterity, not having children, often will be talked about by others.

People, it's okay to not have kids, it's okay to divorce, but don't have kids and divorce and harm them, what do you think?

This statement contains three meanings. One is that people can refrain from having children; the second is that people can get divorced; and the third is that one should not get divorced after having children, for this will hurt the children. With regard to the first two issues, I totally agree; with regard to the third issue, I do not quite agree. The specific analysis is as follows.

I. Whether or not to have children is a free choice between husband and wife

We are no longer a feudal society, and traditional ideas such as having more children and grandchildren, raising children for old age prevention, and being unfilial have gradually faded away. After a man and a woman get married, it is the free choice of both parties whether to have children or not, and outsiders have no right to interfere; they can choose to have children or not. Nowadays, due to the pressure of work and life, there are more and more couples who become dinks after marriage and choose not to have children.

Second, the two sides after marriage bad feelings can choose to divorce

Love is beautiful and ideal. When you fall in love, both men and women make an oath to each other, swearing that they will grow old together and be with each other for the rest of their lives. And after marriage, the beautiful love will be transformed into daily life, we have to face life, family pressure and responsibility, the two sides do not have so much time chi chi me, due to the lack of communication, one party cheating or personality and temperament can not get along with the other aspects of the reasons, feelings more and more bad. At this point, such as really can't go on, can through normal means and procedures for the departure procedures. Our laws clearly stipulate that the freedom of marriage, divorce is also free.

Third, after having a child really can not live whether the divorce depends on the specific situation

1. A marriage sustained by children is not a happy marriage.

In real life, some couples do not have a good relationship, in order to let the children have a sound family choose not to divorce, barely, make do with living together, some couples are not good relationship, often quarrel, and will even take the anger on the child, think it is the child dragged them can not get divorced, the growth of the child has a negative impact. In some cases, in order not to affect the children, the husband and wife do not communicate, do not speak, and become strangers living together. These families that rely on their children to maintain their marital relationship are not happy, and such families would be better off getting divorced, and their children would not grow up healthy and happy living in such a family.

2. An emotionless marriage is painful for both parties and there's no point in sticking with it.

Marriage without feelings, both husband and wife are very painful, barely live together like enemies, conflicts and accumulated grudges will be more and more. There is a kind of love is called letting go, each other have no feelings, why not let go and let each other to find their own love, start a new happy life. There is no need to hold on to a marriage without feelings and hurt each other.

3. Whether or not you divorce and whether or not you will hurt your children are two different things.

On the one hand it's not good for the children to be in a bad relationship and not get divorced and barely get by for the sake of the children, which isn't necessarily good for the children's upbringing. On the other hand, if you get divorced, dad has a home and mom has a home, which will more or less hurt the children. In other words, bad feelings, divorce or not will hurt the children. Without divorce, it hurts both the couple and the children. Divorce, the couple is relieved, may cause some harm to the child. On balance, since there is no relationship, it is better to get a clean divorce. But deal with the relationship with the children.

4. Raising and educating children is the joint responsibility of both spouses.

Raising and educating children is the joint responsibility of both spouses. Whether divorced or not, they must be raised and educated together. It is not possible for both parties to form a new family after the divorce, to be so busy running their new home that they do not care about their children and do not seriously fulfill their duties as fathers and mothers. At the same time, they must also guide their new husbands or wives so that they do not dislike or abuse their children.

In short, one can choose not to have children, but when one does, he or she is responsible for the children and for raising and educating his or her children. Couples can choose to divorce if their relationship is not good. Divorce without children good to do, if there are children, in order to cause less harm to the child, divorce should be careful, not as a last resort, do not easily divorce, otherwise it will hurt the child. If the relationship has been completely broken, must be divorced, we must properly deal with child support, education and other aspects of the problem, more care and love of children, and effectively fulfill the duties of parents, the divorce will minimize the harm caused by the child.

Don't really agree with this, when everyone gets married and has children, they want their future family to be complete and happy, right? Every marriage that eventually comes to an end is a choice that the people involved have no choice but to make.

The damage done to a child by their family of origin sometimes takes a lifetime to heal in the fall

As the saying goes, all unfortunate families have their own misfortunes. Many couples in the end, strangers are not as good as each other, both sides hate each other, quarrel all day long, the ugliest side of human nature are displayed. Such a family, for the child is not a kind of harm. The happy ones use their childhood to heal their whole life, the unfortunate ones use their whole life to heal their childhood. Arguments, alcoholism, domestic violence, many children grow up with low self-esteem and no self-confidence, or become violent and go to jail, or tear apart their marriages and split up their wives.

Divorce, sometimes a better option

In recent years, we will find that the issue of single-parent families has attracted less attention, and on the contrary, the issue of family of origin has triggered more discussions. In order to maintain the integrity of the so-called family, many parents maintain a broken marriage for the sake of their children, which is in fact a kind of harm to the children.

Last year's popular TV series "Teenagers" talked about the problem of the family of origin. Qian Sanyi's parents maintain a broken marriage because of various reasons, and his mother Pei Yin, who is under a lot of pressure, puts all her attention on her children, sometimes even kidnapping them with love. Always saying, "Is it easy for me to do this for you?" You can afford to pay me for so many years?" "This kind of pressure, on the contrary, will cause a lot of psychological pressure on the child.

It's not divorce that harms children, it's lack of love.

It would certainly be best if every child grew up in a warm and loving home. It's just that hearts are easy, and many relationships, when they go on, are gone. Forcing two people who don't love each other to be tied together is ultimately a disservice to both parties involved, and to the children.

In fact, even if you are divorced, as long as both parents love their children enough and both are able to make time for them to grow up, it is not a bad thing for them.

There are many, many people in the years of life, and especially now, with the rapid advancement of the times, who, in the course of getting along with each other, at the drop of a hat; the word divorce comes up!

The subject of this question, let us all think deeply about it, agree with the subject said, a person does not have children can be, divorce can also be, but, after having children, it is best to be careful words or, resolutely not to raise the word divorce!

Every one of us, living in the workplace, there are divorced people in our organizations, and we can all see that divorced people, whether they are men or women, especially single parents alone with their children, the many inconveniences, the list goes on and on.

Simply put, what a child feels whether it is brought up by the father or by the mother is a crippling love, especially when the child is sick and may cry out for the absent father or mother.

So, in love to go to the marriage hall, two people in addition to envisioning the future of life beautiful time, more to more grind two people, character, each other's habits, three views of communication, which are on the walk into real life.

Need to understand each other, communicate with each other, tolerate each other, so that a long life, see each other's shortcomings can be turned into strengths, there is a difference of opinion, will soon communicate with each other to reach a consensus.

Agree, the subject said, everyone, when you have children, easily, or as a last resort, never, ever, ever bring up the word divorce, divorce is very, very easy! Breaking the mirror is hard on hard!

And, after the divorce, the children, whether they live with the father child mother, the children get not the love of both parents, the children will become vulnerable, or timid, and some may be withdrawn, or depressed, which are the children of single-parent families, should not get the disease.

Each of us, marriage and children, not only for their own love, but more is the responsibility on the shoulders, in the face of temptation or, two people have problems, must be timely communication feelings.

Children growing up in single-parent families need their parents to be with them during childhood, rebellion, and adolescence in order to safely navigate the stages of life they should go through.

Each of us, when we get married and have children, we are also growing up. Marriage is not a child's play, and when each of us thinks like this, think about what about our children, what about our elderly?

On a side note, we all know and see divorced people around us, how many second marriages have families that are happy and fulfilled or that last forever. How many people after the divorce, regret, remember! Divorce two words, do not feel free to say, in order to make their own life, their children flat, wishing everyone, every family, are happy!

This is very reasonable. The greatest victims of divorce are the children. First, after the divorce of the parents, the children will either live with the father or with the mother, resulting in a life with a father but no mother or a mother but no father, which is very unfavorable to the growth of the children. Secondly, when the parents get married after divorce, the children have to accept a stranger as their stepfather or stepmother, especially if the stepfather or stepmother is not nice to the children, which is even worse for the children's psychology and growth. Therefore, unless absolutely necessary, divorce is the next best thing in life when you have children.

This is a very good question, which is deafening and directly interrogates the soul. Today's society is full of materialistic desires, people are intoxicated, thus many phenomena that are contrary to social morality and ethics have occurred. As for how to answer the above question, my personal opinion is as follows, for the reference of the gods as a pastime after tea:

1, marriage is like shoes on the feet, fit or not only know themselves, a pair of shoes, even if the more beautiful and elegant, not foot is useless, and vice versa, the same reason. If the two people truly love each other, should be husband and wife love, raise their eyebrows. Ancient saying 'husband and wife together, their profits break the gold' Ancient sincerity does not deceive me, really is the most sensible ah. Imagine, husband and wife love, the child is the crystallization of a loving wife is not a great joy in life? Admittedly, for some couples for some reason and do "Dinks" is not wrong, as long as the old age without regrets on the line.

2, there are positive and negative aspects of everything, if all couples in the world are in love with each other, how can there be divorce? As the saying goes, you don't know what you're getting into. Before you get married, the other person is God, and after you get married, the other person is a slave. When you are in love, both men and women will be in a state of idiocy, deep in the sweet love. Some people are good at hiding, can be called a movie star level, after marriage, many shortcomings exposed and even intensified. At this time, if you are for the sake of the children to tolerate to accommodate each other not to divorce. Wrong! Big mistake! This time to choose to tolerate the compromise, will only encourage its flame, and will even pose a life-threatening danger to your person. Children living in domestic violence for a long time in the ear, will also be low self-esteem or even autism or self-loathing symptoms. This time to file for divorce, first, you can knock the other side of the words, if the other side of the remorse, for the sake of the children can be forgiven. Secondly, if the other party agreed, divorce is not a good thing for you, for the children, justice is in the hearts of the people, I believe the children will also understand you.

Summarize: people are not sages who can not fault, a slap in the face, couples have conflicts to think back and consider, look for their own reasons, do not be strong or ignore the family. Husband and wife should respect each other and love each other, more tolerance and more communication, and strive to run their own families. I wish you all a prosperous career and a happy family.

The biggest victim of having children and then divorcing is definitely the children. For the child after the parents divorce, no matter with the father or with the mother, are incomplete family, parents remarried, stepmother or stepfather, who will not treat the child to treat their own children as good. If the parents are divorced and not remarried, the child can only live in a single-parent family, and most of the children who grow up in single-parent families have personality defects, so for the sake of the children's consideration, it is best not to get divorced. Divorced parents are irresponsible to their children and are extremely selfish parents.

The best parents are those who allow their children to live in a harmonious home.

The word "harm" is very strong, and it is difficult to find the exact root of why it is harmful. Your family has your family's scriptures, my family has my family's scriptures, and his/her family has his/her family's scriptures, and who can thoroughly understand the internal operation of the life of the family members in each family!

Back to their own internal, each member of the mutual misunderstanding between each other is inevitable, and then change to reflect on their own personal, whether their own day before yesterday and yesterday today, and even the hour before the hour after the hour of some ideas and decisions are also the norm in the change and change, so the transposition is in order to recognize more clearly to identify what is the word "harm".

There are many reasons that lead to divorce, affecting the children is an inevitable place, but no one can not be so the family as a whole from the time and space to determine the importance of the child, because each such a specific family environment only its specific children, can not be taken before and after the divorce of the impact of how to compare, this is like smoking is harmful to health, but the person who smokes to live to ninety-nine, and may be a few exceptions to the right!

Return to the root of the problem, from the overall divorce, will affect the children, but this impact cut to "harm", who will not do so for no reason, helpless to hurt their own suffering children, so, only to self-reflection to try to salvage the impact of the child's growth on the road, rather than intoxicated with self-misery thinking, when carrying self-blame! What secular "harmed the child all over the" idea, can not extricate themselves from life, do not try to adjust the body and mind of the self, so that the divorced person really can not walk out of the shadow and greater impact on the child, but also more so that outsiders seem to be the divorce harmed the child.

So save your breath for the poor, pathetic ...... people! Wake up!

If I could backtrack, I shouldn't have married so early in the first place, much less had children.

Too young, only 22 at the time. I was one of the late bloomers. It can be said that I married a man in confusion. I think that person is honest, good to me, the family conditions and good, the key is that the family liked me. So I married him, and then I had a child. But when the child was born, all the contradictions appeared. At night the child cried, not only do not get up together to take care of, but also smacked the child cried noisy him to sleep, blaming me for why the child cried ...... Anyway, life is a mess, often quarrels, I do not know the child in this kind of family growing up what is good? Is it possible to have this child not divorce will not hurt the child?

When we get married and have children, we hope from the bottom of our hearts that our marriage will be happy and our children will grow up happily. But life changes and it's hard for anyone to predict and plan.

If you could do it all over again, you should be careful from the very beginning of looking for someone to fall in love with, and not settle for anything less than a certain kind of benefit. Fully examine whether two people can live together happily for a long time? Can they make progress together? Can they share the same pain? Can tolerate each other all the shortcomings? If you think clearly about all these things, marriage and children are not a problem.

The unusually high divorce rate is an anomaly, and is not only detrimental to the family, but is also a major danger to social security! If the family is not harmonious, the society will not be harmonious, and if the society is not harmonious, the country will not be harmonious!

It turns out that there have always been people who think that you should never get divorced if you kill yourself, and that divorce is bad for the kids, but that's actually the wrong thing to do!

Marriages that look at each other and even fight and fight are very damaging to more than just the two parties, but to the next generation.

That's the kind of family I come from.

As a teenager my home was hell. Day after day in the middle of the water. Days were noisy and days were cold.

I'd have run away from home and learned the hard way if I hadn't been hanging on to myself by a hot breath.

At that time, I advised my mom to leave and divorce, my mom said she would not divorce for our sake, in fact, she was gambling on a breath.

Letting go of each other is letting go of ourselves.

Now she's regretting it. She should have left earlier.

At least it would have been a bit quieter when I divorced at the time, and a single parent wouldn't necessarily have been unhappy.

Happiness is something that is based on peace and stability. Without a foundation of peace and stability, you can't be happy even if both parents are present.

Happiness also affects each other. If parents are not happy, can children be happy? Can they be happy?

A child grows up is just a matter of a decade or so, and when he grows up he will understand a lot of things on his own, and his parents' choices will be understood.

If my parents had gotten divorced back then, each would have found their own happiness, and as long as they were happy it wouldn't have made me unhappy.

Barely is it good for anyone.