This is not good or bad, is it? Yes, most of the elderly retired with their pensions to work as nannies, working hard, recognizing their work, and in some cases carefully watching their sons and daughters-in-law's faces.

My partner and I have brought our grandson from 6 months to now, 24/7, especially since he was 4 years old, and since he started school, we have taken care of all the transportation and chaperoning. There is no way around it.

Before the business went bankrupt, the son and daughter-in-law worked for nothing, and after the bankruptcy, they went to work outside, and they couldn't see anyone all day long. So this is how it has to be.

However, the law only stipulates that parents have the obligation to support their children, but it does not stipulate that they have to bring up their grandchildren after becoming grandparents, or that they have to pay if they do not bring up their grandchildren, does it? Since there is no law, there is no such thing as good or bad, is there?

The old man has worked hard for most of his life. Shouldn't he take it easy after retirement, live a slow life and visit the beautiful mountains and rivers of the motherland? Shouldn't they enjoy their old age?

Yes, if the elderly have the means and a high pension, it is not wrong to subsidize their children, but this is not something that should be done, not of course, to give is a favor, not to give is a duty.

In particular, those with low pensions and chronic illnesses may have to live on their own; not to mention those elderly people in the countryside, who are still creating food in the soil at such an old age, where can they get the extra money to subsidize their children?

I implore those who "justifiably" ask the elderly to bring up their children or pay for babysitting, to put themselves in their shoes and let the elderly off the hook. Or want to let the elderly help, then don't be so "righteous", with a prayerful tone, to obtain the sympathy and understanding of the elderly, willing to lend a helping hand!

There is an old saying in our region that people are to be respected and feared, not "scared". This means that only if you respect and care for the elderly will they be willing to help with the children and support you. It is counterproductive to coerce the elderly with half kidnapping and half coercion, such as "either you help with the children or you pay for your grandchildren, and you should take care of them".

That's why Old Lee said it's not about good or bad when old people don't want to take care of their kids and don't pay for it.

☞ (Image from the web)
Elderly people helping to bring up children is almost like doing something for the public good. To ask the elderly to contribute money without bringing up the children is something that only Licensee Xin dares to say!
Don't kidnap old people! We're all going to be old someday: do some good!

There is no law in the country that obliges the elderly to bring up children for their children, much less pay for the children you have and hire people to bring them up for you, so I ask you where you got that law from?

You gave birth to the child, and it is entirely your responsibility to take care of it.

Even if an elderly person is willing to take care of a child, it is still a kind of sentiment, not to mention not taking care of the child and asking the elderly to pay for someone to take care of the child.

This is outrageous, totally legally illiterate, and an outrageous and unreasonable request that has no place.

Is it wrong for a mother-in-law not to watch the children or give money to her daughter-in-law? What is wrong with a daughter-in-law who sleeps with a man because her mother-in-law helps her? You want to be a great mother yourself, but also let the old man to give money to bring up the children, this mother as too cheap! Old people bring up their own children, and later let their own children old age. Your child is to give you old age is buried you. So it's right to bring up your own children. Don't try to rely on anyone, no one owes you! You find your own man, you give birth to your own child. It makes the most sense to be responsible for yourself.

Let's start by sharing an example of an elderly person with a child, which is certainly representative of the story, and after listening to that story, we'll explore the questions you've raised.

There is such a girl, the mother is a nurse often shift, the father is a long-distance truck driver, both are busy, no time to bring the child, by the grandmother to bring the child. The child learns dance, always absent-minded in class, a lot of small movements, not at all serious, often by the teacher training, every time she was trained, the little girl on the face of innocent expression, pitifully looking at the coach. But the coach turned around, she began to mischievous make faces.

Since the child is brought up by the grandmother since birth and sleeps with the grandmother, the child is not close to the parents. The grandmother has a grudge against the child and complains all the time about how hard it is for her to bring up the child, that the child is too naughty, and that the child's parents have a problem with the child's discipline.

Being in such an environment can be detrimental to a child's development in many ways, especially in terms of the psychological impact on the child, who is also more prone to negative emotions.

In addition, there is a Chinese saying: "the next generation of relatives", some of the old people to the child is always love is not enough, can not afford to discipline, to the child's request also can not afford to refuse, is really a child want the stars do not give the moon. Such a child will become demanding, once not satisfied will roll noisy, the family are made physically and mentally emaciated, exhausted.

Some old people because of the heartache of their own children, work a day after returning home to let their children rest, and do not let grandchildren to bother mom and dad, which cuts off the connection between children and parents, children do not get the attention of their parents, will often be more naughty to stay alive and play pranks in order to get the attention of their parents. This also tends to cause the child's low self-esteem, feeling that he or she is not cute enough, even parents do not play with him or her.

After all this, let's go back to the question itself, the elderly with or without children is their right and freedom, to pay or not to pay is all up to the elderly's personal will, this is not a natural thing. Children have no right to ask the elderly to take care of their children or pay to help raise them.

The child is yours, not someone else's, and since you have given birth to the child, you should have been prepared for all kinds of things, including bringing up the child, raising the child, educating the child, not to mention moral abduction, and there is no reason why you can do so.

There is no such thing as a good or bad question, it depends on what you think.

And do not judge the elderly do not want to, should not judge the elderly, ask how you think? As a mother of two children, there are also elderly people in the family, on the objective to say.

1. Respect the wishes of the elderly, not forced, not moral abduction. We never force the elderly to help us take care of our children, not to mention the money, if we really need the elderly to take care of the children, we will politely ask the elderly to respect their opinions. See whether the elderly are willing to help with the baby; consider whether the physical condition of the elderly is suitable to help with the baby. Everything is harmonious and natural!

2. If the elderly are willing to help, we are of course very happy. The elderly help us to take care of the baby, never treat them poorly, we should be grateful to the elderly in return for their efforts, so that they can live comfortably. Whether it's your own mother or your mother-in-law, you need to get along harmoniously. Often buy your mother-in-law some of her favorite things, give the elderly "wages", so that they are free to buy their own favorite, to be decided by the elderly themselves. When you have time, take the elderly and children out to play, let the elderly relax. At the same time to give the elderly have weekend, this is also very important Oh.

3. If the elderly are not willing to help bring up the children and are not willing to pay, there must not be any complaints and negative energy. I can't figure out why there is the notion and idea that the elderly have to contribute money if they don't bring the baby ah? Although I am also very hard and not easy. But I have never had these ideas in my mind. Because the elderly have worked hard all their lives, they also experienced from not easy times, to bring us up very difficult. Maybe we also have difficulties, there are also helpless times, then learn to find a way, not to implicate, let the old people for them to live for themselves once.

The elderly do not want to bring children, then let them take their money at their disposal, where they want to play wherever they want, why do we still have to be the younger generation of "slaves"? Family with the elderly is happy, we should think of how to filial piety to the elderly, so that they have no worries, do not give them any additional burden. All respect for the wishes of the elderly, love is passed on from generation to generation, mutual understanding in exchange for harmony and happiness!

4. The above points are answered mainly in the capacity of a child and daughter-in-law, expressing only my own thoughts and practices, as I am obliged to do so as a junior.

👇 And as an 80s mom, how will I do that in the future?

I have an ordinary but very great dad and mom, so it's simple, I carry on their character as well and be a responsible and accountable mom. At any time in the future, I will understand my children, including now, I never thought that one day I want them to give me old age, because I just want to do a good job, but do not ask my children in return. I am thinking: society is getting more and more complicated and impatient, and children will have more pressure in the future, I just pray that my children will be well, I can't be a burden to them. So in the future, as long as my children need me, my love is unconditional at all times; as long as my children need me, I will try my best to do whatever I can for them. This is the love of a mother for me and for the whole world!

I really can't figure out, I'm fifty-three this year, when we got married and rented a house to live, and then gave birth to a child never felt that the mother-in-law should give me waiter, or with a child or something, I gave birth to my own child, off the mother-in-law what, in Yangzhou hospital to give birth to a child in a few days is my mother served, in my pregnancy two months, my husband was sent to work in Xinjiang, until the baby was born down to eight months only to come back to see me, to do the monthly baby, when the baby to drink milk powder four times a night, all my own. When the baby to drink four times a night powdered milk, all my own rinse, I think I can do it myself, in the child ten months when I went out to work, the baby to the work of the neighborhood to find an aunt with the night off work to hurry to receive their own in front of, although hard but very fulfilling, and now my mother-in-law is eighty-four years old, my husband and I will go to her every Sunday to cook dinner, I have never spoken aloud and she said a word. I have never said a word out loud to her, although my mother-in-law and I do not have feelings but she is my husband's mother, for the sake of my husband's face also have to be a little better to him, because without her son would not have my current good life, not to mention that God also treated me, my son and daughter-in-law is very good to me, I am in this life in the repair of the next life, God gave me a daughter, I really like girls too much [praying] [praying] [prayer] [praying] [prayer] [prayer] [prayer].

Today's times, I do not know how, gnawing on the old so justified, their own children have to take the old man, not to take the old man to pay, is it for the old man to have children? You have no responsibility for your own children? In the past, I had several children, never counted on anyone, all by myself, the same work to do things.

With or without children is the old man voluntarily, the old man to raise their own son into a family has completed the task of raising, the old man has no obligation to help you bring up the children, to give you money, he them to raise their son into a family, the son earned money did not give their parents, is the common property of your small family, you give birth to a child to raise a child is your own business, and not to the old man to give birth to raise, the old man does not take the child also does not give money, so that There is nothing wrong with that.

That said, most parents treat their children are selfless, perhaps the elderly do not take children, do not pay a certain degree of difficulty, one is the elderly do not have time, life is not very rich to go out to work in order to earn more, and the elderly may not be very good health can not help you bring up the children, for a variety of reasons, you have to overcome the point, do not be too difficult for the elderly.

You can take your child to kindergarten at 3 years old, and then go out to work as usual. When you have a family, you still have to take care of yourself. You can't count on the elderly to give you money and help you with the kids as a favor, but not as a part of their job. Maybe when your children grow up, you can realize the difficulties of parents.

I hope that you will be able to get rid of your family in the future, bring up your children, go to work soon and try to earn more money to come to a good life.

Good or bad you just have to go and ask yourself if you were brought up by your parents or your grandparents and just get that straightened out as far as who brought up your kids, then everything you understand.