I have a son and I have always had concerns about my old age because my mother-in-law has been in our care for over 20 years and it is like a mirror reflecting my old age. My mother-in-law is 60 years old alone, we live with her two stops away from each other, in the city is considered relatively close, the first ten years she is physically okay, we just almost every day to go to her home, to show the spirit of comfort, do not want to let the elderly alone, but we are working people, every day after work to go to my mother-in-law's report, almost before going to bed to return to their own homes, the long term in the past for me to speak of physical and mental fatigue, to care for their own things time The time for me to take care of my own business was too little. After more than ten years we basically live with the elderly, long time living habits of different and so on some of the problems naturally appeared, two generations under one roof, even if there is no major conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, as I would like to have a living space of their own.

After my own personal experience and feelings I am now also old and have become a lonely old man, I need the care of my children and hope to often enjoy the joy of family, but after all, my son has his own small family, work and his own things, if they come to my home from time to time to report or I live with them in my old age under one roof will repeat my experience. So I have adopted the following 3 approaches:

1. Prepare yourself financially for retirement while you still can.

2. Take care of myself as long as I'm well enough to take care of myself, travel a lot, I keep myself in check, and my son and his family live their lives.

3, buy a and son upstairs downstairs duplex house, although duplex but each floor has independent living space, each floor has its own entrance door, just between the two families have an internal passageway direct only. My son is very traditional, determined not to let me go to the nursing home in my old age, then this way of living is both independent and close, once I really can't take care of my own life to hire a nanny, the children are also in the guardian, the most important thing is that I must be self-reliant and self-reliant, and try not to give the children to increase the burden of the spirit and life.

We are a couple with just one child, how will we retire in the future? It doesn't seem to have been considered in depth, and after communicating with our loved ones, the basic idea is.

I. Exercise well and strive for good health in old age.

Second, after old age, children are busy at work and not around, try not to give children trouble, the old couple take care of each other. If you can't, you can take care of a nanny or go to an old people's home.

Thirdly, after old age, as far as possible, have fun, have a healthy hobby, be more active and exercise more.

In short, I'm afraid it's not very realistic to count on children, but I don't think there's any need to worry too much about relying on the state or solving the problem on your own as much as possible.

Parents of only children don't worry about old age

Most of the people after the 60's are parents of only children, this generation, just in time for the implementation of the national family planning policy, as every people after the 60's are responding to the call of the state to implement family planning, to contribute to the country.

Today, this generation born only child, has nearly forty years old, children's children have grown up, generation after generation cycle, so that the parents of this only child, slowly getting old, walking on the road to old age. They have just retired from the workplace, the body is still very healthy, have the ability to self-sufficiency, the state gives the pension, medical insurance, the future of the old age of a reliable guarantee, solved the worries of this generation.

Nowadays, the state's pension policy is clear, many social institutions, as well as home care, a variety of pension methods, so that this generation is not a burden on the issue of old age.

Nowadays, only children have a lot of pressure, not only to complete the work, but also to govern the family, but also to cope with a variety of activities, the heavy burden falls on this generation, as we parents, can not stand idly by, in the leisure time to help the children, so that they have time to do something else, to ensure that the family is stable and harmonious!

。

As parents of an only child, they have the confidence and determination to live well in their old age, relieve the burden on their children, and do not live together if they can be independent. Society has progressed, and there are a lot of new and innovative lifestyles suitable for the elderly, and the technologically advanced market economy, which brings convenience and speed, enables us to actively participate and enjoy ourselves.

No matter when, we have to maintain a good state of mind, actively participate in social activities, can be happy, happy and healthy, is the best choice. We will not be afraid in our old age, with the good policies of the Party as our protection, we will be happy at any time!

As a parent of an only child, do you worry about your retirement? How do you defuse it?

Although I only have one son, I don't worry about my retirement. Here is my method of defusing it.

1, Prepare your own place to retire, not live with your son and his family after retirement

Although it is still early for retirement, I often talk to my wife about the future of retirement. After retirement, will we rely on our son to provide for our old age, or will we rely on ourselves? The couple's opinion is unanimous, not to rely on the son.Even if there is only one son, as long as there is no health problem, old age will come by itself, and old age is determined not to live with them.

So although there were 2 houses, one old house was only 85sqm with poor location and poor amenities nearby. So in 2015, I decisively resold it, plus a loan of more than 2 million to buy a 143 square meter house in the center of the new city.

This house will be our son's new house in the future and we are planning not to go and live there regularly. At most, when we have youngsters, we will stay one night occasionally when we go over to help out, and the rest of the time we will stay at our current place.Have a place to retire on your own and save yourself the awkwardness of living together.

If the old house has not been demolished or not demolished by then, maybe we will go to the countryside to live. Anyway, it's not far from the city, the air is good in the countryside, and we can grow some vegetables and raise chickens and ducks.It's a great way to take care of both seniors in the meantime.

2. Prepare your pension in advance for your retirement

Both husband and wife have formal jobs and both pay five insurance and one pension. I have a supplementary provident fund and enterprise annuity in addition to the five insurance and one pension due to being a state-owned enterprise. So, when we retire as a couple.Normally speaking, the retired salaries of the two people should be sufficient to meet their daily expenses, and they may even have some savings.

In addition, the income for these years, after all expenses.Dedicate a portion of your money to insurance and finance.It's not much, but it's alwaysIt's sort of earmarked, and that money is for retirement.Unless absolutely necessary, it's eel cages only.

3. Treat both parents well and be a role model for your son

Both parents are not young, but they do not live with us, each living in the countryside. When we have time, my wife and I take our children with us and often go to visit the elderly, chat with them and help with some housework. Not that we do it for the kids.But subconsciously the children will always learn a little bit from it, especially the respect for the elderly and love for the elderly.

While the child is still in school, it is still unknown where the future path will lead. However.The fine tradition of the Chinese nation based on filial piety must not be forgotten.These are the things that depend on us to pass on. If you yourself are not good to the elderly and refuse to support them, your children will have the idea of following your example. When you are really too old to walk and expect your child to help you, don't complain if he doesn't come, because you used to do the same thing, and there must be a cause for the effect.

4. Exercise and stay healthy

It's time to start paying attention to the exercise regimen aspect now.As the saying goes, if you don't take care of your health on weekdays, you will have a doctor when you are old. Nowadays, the living conditions are better, the pace is also fast, all kinds of problems are also more. Therefore, there is time to take the time to participate in physical exercise, such as playing badminton, walking, jogging, riding, etc., to shift the attention from the phone and computer to health care.

With good health, we can spend our twilight years in a better way, which will reduce our financial expenses and ease the burden of our children. As forWhen you are really old and sick, you should see a doctor if you can, but if you can't, you should just go to a nursing home. If you can't take care of yourself, you can go to a nursing home, but of course, it's up to the kids to arrange it.

When we grow old, the generation of only children is at the stage of having old people and young people. Their work pressure is greater than ours, maybe there is a second child, but also have to consider the husband and wife more than four elderly people's old age problem. Therefore, if you really love your children, don't have the old idea of raising children for old age. If you want to live a peaceful and pleasant old age, you should make all kinds of plans in advance, and it is the king to manage your old age in advance.

Thank you pro's for reading! I amThe Prodigal Son of the @Sea, focusing on the field of life of the white. Welcome to your attention and review, any shortcomings please correct me, any ideas you can leave in the comment section, will reply. Thank you!

The picture is from the network, such as infringement of deletion

As a parent of an only child, I am both relieved and worried about my own retirement, which may seem contradictory, but is actually quite natural.

I have only one child, who was brought up by me. I have no doubt about my child's filial piety to his mother, nor do I worry that at the last moment, he will leave me alone, so I have no worries about my old age.

But there are two sides to everything. When children get older, they have their own careers, their own children and families, and in-laws need to be taken care of, and the elderly on both sides need to be taken care of by their children, so it is inevitable that they will lose sight of the other side of the equation.

For many years, I have brought my children through all the storms and difficulties. Now, my children have started a family and have two children, and I have retired in my old age.

When I was young, I fought for my ideals. When you are working, you work hard and work overtime to achieve something in your career. When I got married, I thought about my husband, children and parents. Now, my parents and husband are traveling west, my children have grown up, and I have retired. Though it is infinitely good, it is nearly dusk.

Dusk and darkness, we need to light lamps, otherwise, it will bump and fall. Light is a little skin, wipe some medicine can be, heavy is to send a doctor to rescue. Dead to good, can not die paralyzed in bed, their own suffering, children suffer, who are not good.

From where we come to where we go, everyone has to face aging and death. In order to cope with aging and the final moments, I have done these main things over the years of my retirement:

1. Adjustment of mindset.

After I retired, I no longer commute from 8 to 6, so it was hard for me to get used to it at first. After adjustment, I went to the senior university to study, meet new friends, adjust my mindset, and gradually adapt to the retirement life.

2. Maintain a childlike spirit and a sense of fun in life.

Beauty is all around, it's up to you to find it. Although your age is long, your heart should not grow old, let alone die, and you should always keep a child's heart. The age of eighty, the heart of thirty or forty.

A few years ago, in the University for the Elderly, I learned music and cooking. When I was happy, I danced and worked out, did handicrafts during holidays, gossiped and chatted with residents in my neighborhood, walked my dog in the morning and evening, answered questions on the Internet every day, and communicated with netizens, with a wide range of interests and a fulfilling life, so I didn't feel lonely at all.

3. Live a regular life and insist on exercise.

I live alone, but except on occasion, I basically cook my own meals, do my own chores, and grow vegetables and flowers in my small yard to move my arms and legs.

Depending on your physical condition, do qigong, dance for fitness, walk and jog briskly while walking your dog, and move around for nearly two hours a day to keep your body energized.

4. Save yourself some retirement money.

I have to spend money on my old age and medical care, and I have already made proper arrangements with the ROC, so I am left with myself. In the past few years since I retired, I have saved up some money for my own funeral, so I would like to take advantage of the fact that my mind is clear now, to cherish the present, to treasure what I have, to make good arrangements for my afterlife, not to drag my family into trouble, and to leave this world where I was born and raised in a dignified manner.

Image from the web

There's nothing to worry about. We only have one daughter, who has been married off for several years, and the young couple works in Nanjing. Both of us are retired enterprise workers, our pensions add up to more than 4,000 yuan per month, because we live in the county, so the level of consumption is low, and we have our own house, even though our pensions are not very high, but it is enough for us to use, in addition to the basic cost of living, we still have more than 2,000 yuan left over each month. The children do not ask us for money, and usually buy this and that for us through express delivery, which in turn subsidizes some money for us.

Both of us have employee medical insurance, usually a little bit of small illnesses do not cost much money. Even if we get sick in the future when we get older and have to pay a lot of money for medical care, with the improvement of the national health insurance system, we will not have to bear too much, and we will be able to cope with it without affecting our normal life.

In the past few years, while not much old, strong legs, travel a couple of trips a year, to see the local customs, the cost of which is controlled within 10,000 yuan, to ensure that not overdrawn when the planning of the remaining deposits, not only to improve the quality of life, but also to ensure that the later years of life will not be affected. As the old saying goes, if you don't have far-flung worries, you will have near worries.

My daughter often says that when we reach our old age, she will take us (maybe only one left) over. Although there is no face to face denied her full of filial piety proposal, but privately never had such an idea, from the familiar experience of the elderly, we know that the taste of the fence is not good, even though their own children is also the same, because the intergenerational people are bound to have differences, it is not possible to get along with the harmony and harmony, all day long to live in the aggrieved, tolerate, endure, pretend and so on the heart of the atmosphere of the heart is not from the heart, it must be very tired very tired. In view of this, our old family reached a firm consensus: two people are in, then stay together, take care of each other's lives, never easy to live in the daughter's home. If you are alone, it is difficult to take care of your own life, you can go to your daughter's home near the nursing home, anyway, some of their own savings, not to increase the burden on the daughter, but can take the time to visit, which is called the overall balance.

Sunsets are infinitely better, as long as they are arranged early. We only have one only daughter, but we just pay a little more in our young adulthood. When it comes to retirement and later years, everything is fine with food, clothing, transportation and fun! No worries whatsoever, this life is enough!

As an only child parent, I don't worry about the old age problem because I have already arranged almost everything. First of all, I have changed the elevator house, the green environment is better, easy to walk, the supermarket is nearby, shopping and traveling are convenient.

Financially, the two old people's pensions are enough to spend, the usual vegetarian-based expenses are not big, there is medical insurance for illnesses, and there are savings for emergencies, so these are not problems.

Usually pay attention to protect the body, the mind should be good, busy all day long to do things that are good for health, you can raise flowers, painting and practicing calligraphy to make their minds quiet, maintain a good state of mind.

As long as they are healthy and able to take care of themselves during their lifetime, they will not add to the trouble of their sons and daughters-in-law, who are busy at work and do not have the time to do so.

If I'm not prepared to treat myself once I can't take care of myself, what's the point, even though health insurance reimburses more, and my son and daughter-in-law are both studying medicine, so it's advantageous to see a doctor?

Now the medical science has not developed to that point, so that people do not have the disease, can not take care of themselves is fatal, living is not much sense, only to increase the burden of the country and family. I do not want to be such a person, has shut down the son need not for my treatment.

So cherish the good life now, keep a good state of mind, enjoy life every day, healthy and happy is the happiest retirement.

As a parent of an only child, do you worry about your retirement? How to solve it?

I am a post-60s child, just in time for the strictest family planning period in China, and I am one of the many parents of an only child. As a mother of an only child, I have the traditional Chinese concept of raising children for old age, and I used to be a patriarchal person. Since I could only have one child, I hoped that I could have a boy and have someone to support me in my old age. This idea is influenced by my parents, my parents are patriarchal typical, my mother has given birth to four girls, I am the youngest, the third sister is eight years older than me, nicknamed "Lian Di", the result is that my mother was pregnant in October to give birth to me, did not get what I wished for. Sisters have been married, are "a thousand girls" landed, composed of the mother's family's army of women. To me here is a difficult task, the lack of party representatives ah, mom said: I have not brought a boy, you want to give birth to a boy, I will help you bring. Husband's family is a single, but her husband is not too mindful of the birth of a boy or girl, but also claimed to like girls, for which I also quarreled with him, the second year of marriage, my son was born, and devoted all the cultivation of him, counting on him to have a good fortune, I can enjoy the days of old age.

My son has grown up, graduated from graduate school and stayed on to teach at a foreign university, and is happily working and living with his daughter-in-law in a distant city, so there is no hope of returning to China. Do I worry about my retirement? I was. After all, my original intention was to raise my children for old age. My son now has a cozy family, a satisfying job, and a bright future, which I also hope for. In the choice between the two, I chose the latter. I used to be a career woman, know that it is not easy to work outside, the child can work hard to become what it is now, must also have eaten a hundred pain, experienced a thousand difficulties, I love the child, the child also love me, as an only child of the son and daughter-in-law, carrying four old people's old-age burdens, as parents, we must be unloaded on behalf of them. We do not lack arms and legs, we have to walk on our own and organize our own life, this is what I think now.

In fact, I have no reason to worry about my old age, I have labor insurance, the state has given me the security of old age, and I can live a life without worrying about food and clothing. Social institutions for the elderly are spreading, even if you do not want to go to an institution to spend your twilight years, we sisters together in the old age at home is also happy, there are a lot of ways, a change of mind, the sea is wide open. My own traditional concept of raising children for old age has been slowly digested in reality. Today, I am no longer obsessed with the question of my own old age.

As a mother of an only child I, from the traditional sense of raising children to prevent old age shell for new, this process is the reality of my metamorphosis, my body and mind happy to face this multi-purpose question, I do not worry about their own old age, I believe that the development of society today, not only I can go to abandon the traditional old concept of raising children to prevent old age, all the parents will be adapted to and choose to develop with the times of the old age mode, think about it all! Won't worry about how to old age, there is the state in, there is social security in, the only child parents still worry about their own old age? There is no entanglement, no need to dissolve.

Give your child a sky to soar in yourself.

Honestly very worried, but there is no way, can only take one step at a time, now worry about useful? On this pension, can not earn a mountain of gold and silver, on a better pension is not enough, to the day can not take care of themselves and then say it, one day at a time, now is to live well every day can be.

I am an only child after 70 years, just one son. Mom and Dad are old and in poor health and are often hospitalized. Now my mom has been hospitalized for almost a month, she is unconscious in the lower half of her body and has to do rehabilitation every day. The hospital requires her family members to stay with her 24 hours a day or to hire an escort, and the escort fee is more than 200 a day, which is not affordable due to financial reasons, so she has to take care of herself. Dad suffers from Alzheimer's disease, every day before going to the hospital can only put dad alone at home. Every day, I really fear that I will collapse one day, what will happen to this family.

My son is a junior high school graduate, and he is so busy with online classes and problems that he has to take care of his own meals every day, which is a shame.

Friends also suggested that we send Dad to a nursing home, but Mom disagreed, saying it would be unfilial. My husband said that we should do our best to take care of him for as long as we can, as long as we have a clear conscience.

Experienced too much, on their own after the problem of old age is very open, the big thing is to go to the nursing home, after all, the son will have their own small family, can not let the son and repeat my current experience, really too tired of the heart.

Keep a good heart, keep exercising every day, and be happy, healthy, and joyful every day!