I tell a true story: there is an old man with five sons and one daughter, are rural people. In 1995, the old man was sent to Wuhan Zhongnan Hospital for treatment, the doctor diagnosed the need for immediate surgery, an initial estimate of about 20,000 yuan, when the six children only the second son had 15,000 yuan in hand, the eldest son took out all the savings of 3,000 yuan, the other three sons and daughters only take out 1,000 yuan of money. The second son did not hesitate to take out all fifteen thousand dollars, so that the mother was able to successfully complete the operation.

After the operation, the second daughter-in-law suggested that her mother-in-law's treatment costs should be shared by her siblings, but at that time, other people were indeed unable to come up with the money, and a portion of the money was still needed for the follow-up treatment. Therefore, the second daughter-in-law asked everyone to bear the costs of the follow-up treatment, and it was difficult for others to borrow money from outside. Although the second son had used up all his savings, he was able to borrow money from others, and he borrowed another 3,000 yuan from others for his mother's treatment until she recovered and was discharged from the hospital.

Later, the second daughter-in-law felt that they contributed too much money, but also borrowed money from others, and repeatedly asked other brothers for money! The second son had to work with his wife many times: it is true that the brothers do not have money, although I borrowed money from others, but I will soon be able to pay it back, you force them to do so that the brotherhood and sisterhood of love is not there? How would my mother feel if she knew? Mother raised us many brothers and sisters, I have the ability to cure the old man, do not you think it is a good thing? Why do you want to turn this good thing into something unpleasant for all of us? After many times of persuasion, the second daughter-in-law also figured out and no longer pursue this matter!

Because the second son is a generous man, he is now considered a modest boss and has an excellent reputation!

Later, the two old men passed away, and it was basically the second son who took care of the old men's affairs! The townspeople still look up to him as a role model.

How many years later when someone brought up this matter, and expressed praise and admiration for the second, but the second flatly replied: I just did what a son should do, if the parents are sick or can not take care of their own life when the time is not spent on trying to honor the elderly, and go to ask the other siblings to share, so what is the benefit of having children? Is a person not filial to his parents? To honor one's parents is to do one's best! Honoring your parents is actually repaying kindness, not doing it for others!

Advise the world: Be a good son (daughter) before you can be a good father (mother)!

The crow knows how to feed itself, and the sheep has the feeling of kneeling at the breast, not to mention the human being. If one is not as good as a crow or a lamb, then is one not worse than a beast?

As a parent, it is hard work to raise five children at the same time. But in reality, this situation often occurs, that is, parents can raise five children at the same time, but the five children may be supporting the elderly and push back, anxious and white, or even make the brothers and sisters do not get along with each other. ......

People are inherently good, and goodness never expires! Not to mention the fact that we are dealing with our own parents. As a child, in the parents day by day when the old, not only should support their parents, but also should do their best, so that their parents live a carefree life, old age, as the saying goes, you raise my small, I raise your old!

Here are some of my favorite words and phrases for the gift of parenthood that I would like to share.

Parental kindness is as deep as the sea.

Don't forget your parents in life.

The cycle of childbearing and childrearing.

It has been passed down from generation to generation since ancient times.

Be filial to your children.

Birds and beasts still know the grace of nursing.

Parents are flesh and blood.

Father and mother don't honor whoever they honor.

We must repay the kindness of our parenting.

Hopefully, the dream of a child will come true.

Filial piety is passed on from generation to generation.

It stretches from generation to generation.

......

Sheep have the feeling of kneeling at the breast, crows have the righteousness of feeding. And people should also have the idea of filial piety, do not wait until you want to do filial piety and family is not there, and ultimately leave a major legacy of life ......

For human children, supporting the elderly has been a human virtue since ancient times. Parents gave us life, raised us to adulthood, when we grew up, wings hard, and our parents have become gray hair, staggering old man ...... they are old! They can't do it anymore! They should also be to enjoy the children and grandchildren of the time! At this time, as a child, should be more to support the elderly as their own should also must be a responsibility!

For the questioner's question, here I would like to say is that, as children, their own what conditions are not good, their own what family difficulties, etc. ...... This is not the reason! To know, rather than let yourself suffer, also can not be bitter to put you hard work to raise the old man! Have their own food, should have parents a mouthful of food! I even want to find all kinds of reasons for those who do not honor their parents to say the most unpleasant sentence "If you do not honor your parents, you do not deserve to marry and have children, because you do not deserve to be a father as a mother!"

When parents are here, there is still a place to come to in life, but when parents are gone, there is only a way back in this life.

filial piety can not wait, any feelings can not resist the love of our parents to us, without our parents, there is no us, if we do not give birth to us, do not nurture us to grow up, then how can we come to life? Where is the love in life, friendship ......

Realize that.

There is no greater emotion in the world than the love of parents, where blood is thicker than water!

As a human being, one must always remember that "filial piety is the first of all good deeds!"

Every family has a difficult story, and your question brought back memories for me as well.

My parents died without enjoying the blessings of our sons and daughters, without spending a penny.

When my father died a couple of sisters-in-law didn't handle the funeral first, but had to check how much money my father still had in savings ......[facepalm][facepalm][facepalm][facepalm][facepalm][facepalm][facepalm][facepalm][facepalm][facepalm]]Â

At that time, I was furious:father alive you do not pay a penny, now the bones are not cold, sheep have the heart of kneeling milk, crows have the righteousness of feeding. You have your own children, you don't want to face, you let them later how to live in the world ......[face][face][face][face][face][face][face][face].

Then the president of the village said, "Let's not talk too much, the old man is still lying on the doorstep.

11 years I just bought a house in the town, after all, the town conditions are more convenient than the countryside. Then told his wife to take his mother-in-law to live a few days ...... lived a few months mother-in-law and wife conflicts, mother-in-law home half a month at home is not accustomed to, the

I told my wife:The old man is more than eighty years old, thinking ability in all aspects need us when the descendants of the understanding, tolerance, care .......

That's how the wife took her mother-in-law back to live together again, for more than a year during the Spring Festival.

A few grandchildren on the proposal: Grandma in the aunt's home for almost two years, but also not a day or two. Five sons each 800 yuan a year living expenses] and then the third sister-in-law is a little reluctant: we all want me to speak, my own economic conditions are limited, before and after thinking about the last said: mother-in-law in my home to take care of mother-in-law as a matter of course, as for you to pay for this issue, you out I do not object, you do not I will not complain ...... you pay for it! I'll try to organize my life a little better, you do not pay what I eat what mother-in-law eat ......

So almost ten years mother-in-law is also more than ninety years old now every year to go home on New Year's Eve a family reunion can be lively, do people well, all good filial piety is the first, there is nothing more important than a family together happy happy happy reunion dinner [Rose] [Rose] [Rose] [Rose] [Rose]

Before answering the question, let me mention two examples that I am familiar with:

1, as long as the children's feelings are good, money for money, power for power, the relationship is quite good.

My sister-in-law has five brothers and sisters: three brothers and two sisters. Of the three brothers, only the oldest went to school, and after graduation he worked in a first-tier city, earning quite a lot of money. My sister-in-law is a teacher, and my sister-in-law's sister is a farmer who married into the village.

My sister-in-law's parents built houses in the village for their eldest and second sons and married them both. The youngest son just paid until he graduated from college and then worked his way up in the city on his own, basically buying his own house for the wedding, and giving a token amount of money for the bride price.

However, building a house in the countryside, especially in previous years, cost about the same as paying for a college student, which means that there is no monetary favoritism by the parents towards anyone.

When my sister-in-law's parents got old, the two sons in the village and my sister-in-law's sisters contributed some each year, but 80 percent of the expenses were paid by the younger son who lived well in the city, and the old couple lived quite well.

When my sister-in-law's father passed away, and my sister-in-law's mother became unable to take care of herself, this was the time for the children to really fulfill their filial duties. Since my sister-in-law's mother couldn't stand the strain and could only age at home, she couldn't take turns at her three sons' homes, so basically the two sons in the family supported her, and my sister-in-law and her younger sister were regular visitors. No matter which brother's house the old mother rotates to, the third brother will give money to the brother's house, and the money played is at the disposal of the brother's house. In fact, the money is higher than the money for the caretaker. The brothers did their filial duty and got the money, so they didn't say anything and even thanked the third brother.

Anyway, until my sister-in-law's mother passed away, none of the five siblings in my sister-in-law's family had a single conflict. My little brother is grateful to his two brothers and two sisters for doing his filial duty on his behalf. My brothers and sisters are grateful to my younger brother for doing their filial duty on their behalf in terms of money.

2. If the children's feelings are shallow, they must contribute equitably to the effort or money, and the relationship will be very stagnant.

A family next door to my mother's house had three sons and a daughter. Among the three sons, only the second one went to school and was assigned to the county town to earn a salary, and later became a leader of the unit, so the family's condition was quite good. The rest of the brothers and sisters lived a normal rural life.

When their parents had no financial resources and were able to take care of themselves, the second son paid for their living expenses almost exclusively. When their parents could not take care of themselves, that is, when they could not cook for themselves, not when they were bedridden, the oldest son offered to take turns raising them.

The second child did not agree, saying that it would be troublesome to travel from the countryside to the city once every few months, and that it would be better for him to pay for the child's support when it was his turn to raise the child and then ask his elder or younger brother to raise the child on his behalf. At that time, the second child's alimony payment was not low.

However, his sister-in-law and brother-in-law shook their heads like rattlesnakes, saying that no matter how much money they gave, whose family's turn it was, they would take it away. So, in the beginning, it was the four months of the year when it was time for the oldest two to rotate, so he took his mother and father to his home in the city, which was very troublesome.

Later on, when his parents were tired of the hassle, he took care of his parents' nanny in the countryside, and went home to visit them from time to time. The two brothers in the countryside spoke up again, saying that the second would rather give money to others than to the two families.

Hearing this, the two oldest family members, especially the daughter-in-law is of course very angry. In this way, wait until after the parents have died, the second family two families just twice a year to go home to their parents to burn paper money outside, but burned and then leave, not even into the brother's home, they drove back.

The following is a simple answer to the question: if there are five brothers and one of them is not well off, then the other four brothers should lend him a helping hand to make his life relatively better; if they cannot do so, they should contribute more to the joint financing of their parents' upbringing and let the third one contribute less.

However, as the oldest three should know that it is the duty of every child to support his or her parents, and the fact that he or she is not in a good condition is not a reason for not contributing to his or her living expenses. He or she should do everything in his or her power to contribute to his or her living expenses, and he or she should not use the fact that he or she does not have money as a pretext for not supporting his or her parents.

In fact, it is difficult to solve family problems with the word "reason", but should be solved with the word "love". If you have love and I have righteousness, it is not a problem if you have more or less money; on the other hand, if you have more money in general, it will be a problem!

Get used to it, my father four brothers, two sisters, my father's oldest, four uncle two sons, and four aunts straight sick, the economy is a little worse. Previously, my grandfather was young about 70 years old, do some small business to open a store, to maintain themselves, around 2010, began to say a family to raise three months, when the four aunts at home, my parents were working in Zhejiang, and did not have the time to come back, so let my grandfather to live in four aunts, give two thousand dollars a month, two uncle in Guangdong three uncle family in the city are also so given. But in that year before the New Year, we all came back, and then four aunts in the family meeting said, you several sons are not old people, give that little money is not enough to pay the electricity bill, after the New Year you have to take away. Anyway, everyone was so angry that they vomited blood, and my fourth uncle was about to hit my fourth aunt. My grandfather said at that time, just live in your place, his name of the mountains, land, fields all to your family, and grandfather also opened a small store, their own cooking, their own food (the village has a food delivery, every month, my uncles of two thousand are played to my fourth aunt card, but also this see bought a thing, usually four aunts family salt, soy sauce and vinegar are directly in the store to take, never give money. Then I directly said, let my father to take my grandfather to my home, my mother next year also do not go out to work, the age of the outside is also tired, the home electricity bill I come out of the net. I will pay for the electricity bill and the internet bill. The money that the other uncles give to grandpa will be put on his card directly, but my family doesn't want it. On the same day, I moved all of my grandpa's store things to my house, the countryside place, the house are doing more. I think my grandfather in my house also stayed for almost ten years, every week he rented a car to the city to buy meat into the goods, now 85 years old. Every time I go home I give a 200 wife to 500. a few of my cousins give a few hundred each, other aunts and uncles will also give a little on New Year's Day. The family, together, a lot of things are not so much to count. All the things to be divided so clear, the affection will also fade.

It's not reasonable to refuse to pay for your parents' living expenses, you don't have to pay more, and if it's convenient, you can help Lao-san more, so that he and you can be rich together, and it's not reasonable for him to pay less for his parents' living expenses.

Let me tell you how I dealt with our siblings supporting the elderly!

I am 45 years old, single, I have two brothers, three sisters, in addition to my city now they are currently in the countryside, my father died 2004 years ago, leaving my mother to live alone, my mother used to be very strong, but after my father's death, she suddenly became careful, these children of ours pay a lot of money to help dry farm work is always to ensure that each family to do the same amount of work for fear of who picks the reasoning unhappy, but ultimately, a bowl of water or not! end flat, there are a lot of details I do not say here, in short, the mother is loving every child, the mother used to treat everyone fairly, there is a little bit of good food are divided evenly between them, every time I go home I have to buy more things or not enough for the mother to share. Work is also to help this day after a day to go to help that day, for fear of whoever picks a reason to say that she is biased.

Eventually my mother collapsed, suffered a cerebral hemorrhage, and went from being able to walk with support to being semi-paralyzed and finally completely paralyzed... six years.

From the day my mother fell ill, the youngest I suddenly became the helmsman of the family, I feel that when no one is willing to be the family when someone has to come forward to open up the main thing, all of my mother's hospitalization costs and late medical expenses, are I out, even when they spend in the hospital to accompany the cost of meals are I take, I have to make my mother worry-free, can not let my mother because of the cost of the problem of difficulties. At this time, many of my brothers and sisters owe my mother money, are three or five thousand kind of, many years have not paid. Mother then had 20,000 yuan passbook, I forcefully did not let them take this money, that is the old man bottom of the box, is her frugal savings, is her support and spiritual support, but also I gave my mother's pocket money she did not want to spend to save up, this 20,000 yuan absolutely can not be used, the cost of spending problems I have their own arrangements, the 20,000 yuan I have long had other plans (the back of the direction of the instructions).

After my mother was discharged from the hospital, I mapped out everyone's willingness to serve the elderly, and finally, according to the degree of convenience of the family, the two families of my third sister and my second sister-in-law to change the month of service, who served to receive whose home, my second brother and sister-in-law and my mother itself is living in a house, only each living in two rooms, my mother lives in these two rooms is also my home residence, I pay them monthly hard work fee, which has risen every year, and by the time of 2018, it I should say, they serve very carefully, a hundred times better than hiring someone, there is no smell in the house, bedding changed several times a day, I'm very grateful to the third sister and the second sister-in-law, they gave my mother the last life to be able to not empty, not in vain to raise so many sons and daughters.

In the Spring of 2018, mother can not eat after the third brain hemorrhage, relying on the flow of food and insisted on seven or eight months, and finally thin only bones, in September, the mother passed away, leaving the home where she has lived for decades, from Shandong to follow his father to break into the Northeast, ate all the bitter, would have been able to enjoy the blessings of old age, but paralyzed, she used to be very strong, in order to get up again after the disease, she has been practicing hard to walk, and then eventually did not walk alone, to later help walk can not walk, the mother knew she would never recover, the despair of our children to see the eye extraordinarily Walking, and then ultimately did not walk alone into, to later help walk can not walk, the mother knows that he can no longer recover, the despair of our children to see in the eyes of extraordinarily difficult, she did not want to add to the burden of the children, but what can be done about it.

My mother's life was not easy. The most saddened by my mother's death was probably me, because I became completely alone, my closest relatives were gone, the person who loved me the most was gone, the person who was looking forward to my return home was gone, I bought things to go home again and there was no one to take them to my brothers and sisters to share them, and there was no one to stand in the rice barn and watch me go away until I disappeared from the head of the village, the loss of my mother was a big blow to me.

In the six years since my mother fell ill, I have spent a total of about $300,000, 80% of which has been spent on the hard work of serving the elderly, but I still have not been able to keep my mother alive for a few more years. I am aggrieved for my mother because although she has six children, not all of them have honored her, and this is her greatest disappointment. Sometimes, when she mentions those who do not care about her, she she sheds tears, and we comfort her mother, who cries in the beginning, and then slowly becomes disappointed and finally despairs. Those who did not want to serve her did not do so in the end.

I spent another 100,000 yuan to redecorate the house shared by my mother and my second brother's family, making it the best in the village, exactly the same as in the city, just so that my mother, who had labored all her life, could enjoy it, but my mother lived there for more than a year and passed away, and from now on, my mother's room would be the home that I would come home to.

I put my mother six years ago under the praise of 20,000 yuan (in fact, I gave my mother's pocket money), and added a little to make up 25,000, divided into three sisters and two brothers, I did not want a point, this is the old man left his children's last legacy. All the money owed to my mother by my brothers and sisters in the past I also declared a write-off. The house left by my mother is mine and my second brother's family, and I will go back to live in the future when I am old.

The old man is so gone, leaving us siblings six, there must be someone to take the lead, can not let the family live like an enemy, no matter how they treat their mother, that is between their mother and son, and I have nothing to do with me, I just need to do my own, I will not because of who who is unfilial on purpose to alienate them, the past should not be pursued, life is too short, or positively look forward to the right. A good big family, the key is still to see whether there is someone to stand up to maintain harmony.

Additional points

1, some people accuse me of not getting married is the biggest unfiliality to parents, I have to do a little explanation here, my parents did not force me, they said as long as I am happy on my own, because they know that I am not willing to settle for someone else, my family did not accuse me of this, I don't know why these friends like to educate others so much. I choose my own road, I am willing to bear all the consequences, even if the old age is miserable, but now has saved enough money for retirement, I have started the life of cycling and traveling, and then live 30 years will be a mark, is not suitable for marriage and children, I do not want to have any ties, just want to spend the rest of their lives alone casually. I hope that friends who think I am single will let this go and stop trying to persuade me.

2, I'm not rich, so far I do not have a private car, even the driver's license did not test, I go back to the village each time either by bus from the city to the town and then walk 7 kilometers to the village, or from the city to go back to the bicycle (42 kilometers), I like to skate, I like to ride the long distance, love the freedom of being carefree, I do not ask for a lot of shelter, live in a very cheap kind of simple room, wear is also Taobao on the Low-priced clothes, food is not required to eat their favorite kinds of vegetables are also rural areas have, did not enter any high-consumption places, do not smoke, do not gamble, do not drink, in other people's eyes is very frugal and very simple and very honest and very alternative kind. In spite of this, my good friends especially much, because I am especially real, although I am very stingy to themselves, but the gift to the friends of the family is never ambiguous, every time they receive the gift in the most of that one.

In addition, I am from the countryside to the university before coming to the city, brothers and sisters are not good at studying did not even finish junior high school on their own do not miss, parents did not favor me, it is my own efforts to get out of the countryside, I spent 3300 yuan three years of high school, the university four years to spend 12,000 yuan, I always remember this account, which is owed to my parents debt, I pay back a number of times are not enough. I studied hard during college and won several first and second class scholarships, also joined the party. After graduation began the road of debt repayment, in the most difficult first year of graduation students can open four or five hundred, and my monthly salary of only 260 yuan, there is no doorway can only come to the kind of unit, I will be squeezed out of 50 yuan a month to my mother, not for anything else, in order to live up to my mother's support of my upbringing and attack reading. I work for myself after ten years, I saved up money to buy a house, their own business opened a store, and now has graduated from college twenty-two years, not much success, but also not difficult.

Many people feel that I should get more money if I'm in a good position, and I don't refute this point of view. I think that supporting the elderly can not be compared with others, I do my best, my own heart is solid, this and how much money I have no relationship, there is no money also depends on the people do not want to spend on the elderly, there are a lot of people who spend a lot of money on their own, but in the parents do not want to spend a penny.

3, this incident is real, not half made up. My mother died in the fall of 2018. Plus I don't have to tell a bunch of lies to fool everyone, and besides what am I fooling you about? Here I am not labeling myself, but I think that everyone should not make a feud with their siblings because of supporting the elderly, and all do their share of filial piety.

4, there are a lot of friends think I do things too moderate, that I do not have a bottom line, that I am missing something, treating ungrateful family members should not be so tolerant. I understand what people mean, is that I am a good old man, no principles, treat bad people should give them face.

You think about it, if I because of who is not filial, I fight with him, it can only show that I do not know how to do, so much money I have spent, why not strive to complete a little bit of fighting, fighting ascension, shame ah, I paid so much and then let everyone say I am too concerned about the gains and losses, then I pay these are not equal to zero it? For people who do not serve their mothers, I can only not offend them in the future, but will not get too close to them, because even their own parents do not care about the character of the people must have problems, is not worth cherishing.

I'm very individualistic in life, love and hate, I never hang on to people I don't like, even because of a friend in the case of Meng Wanzhou was under house arrest, but also did not listen to my advice insisted on buying an Apple phone, I turned my face and he is now a stranger.

I'm not without principle, although some people did not do filial piety, but after all, we are a family, my mother after all, there are still people in charge, I do not have too many interactions with them, every time I go back to the village to live in the village, there is no need to quarrel with them, the surface to get by on the end. If I get into trouble with anyone who doesn't serve my mother, my efforts over the years will come to naught. Do you think it's a good deal for me?

At least now no one can find fault with me. I tried my best to do my best for my mother, but I won't be able to do much for him in the future, because I'll never forget who is ashamed of my mother.

5, advise everyone, must treat their parents, you have more siblings, no matter how rich they are, if they do not take the initiative to support their parents, you do not want to compare with them, you have to do their best, do not let the old man cold heart, as long as there is a child to support them, they are not born in vain these sons and daughters. Don't care who your parents used to favor and how much money they have, the old man has raised us and we have been successful, we have the obligation to let the old man enjoy his old age. Don't compare and contrast. Who support the elderly who later heart solid, this point is more important than anything else. What you do to your parents, your children to you is what, do not believe that we will see.

Rich brother to help brother, no money brother to help brother, between brothers and gas for the top, do not for that a few money to make a family disunity, hurt the peace, more hurt your parents that old heart.

It is reasonable that all children should support their parents, but support is not the same as an equal share. The Marriage Law stipulates that brothers and sisters are obliged to support each other. The meaning of this provision is very rich, which also includes mutual support in the support of grandparents. The oldest three should not refuse, he should consult with you, you should also take the initiative to reduce his burden. Of course, but also depends on his children and your children which rich, if his children than you and your children much richer, that is another matter or even he has to pay more; but if his children in general or even poorer than your children, then you should help him and his children. In short, brothers should consult with each other in a friendly manner, and should always think that they should contribute more to help others, and should be less calculating.

Unreasonable but reasonable. When Lao San is in difficulty, it is only right that all brothers should help. We can't let Lao-san's life get worse. An old saying for you brothers, (Only brothers in this world, no brothers in the next).