Many people say that the older the more afraid of death, I think it is indeed so, young and lively time will not think of their own can not cure but also the whole family to borrow money for their own treatment, but once older lying in a hospital bed, the desire to survive has to be really strong.

My father-in-law at the end of June last year when the legs suddenly can not walk, go to the hospital to check, said that the spine above a tumor, when my father-in-law 73 years old, the county hospital doctors said that conservative treatment is recommended, after all, old age, surgery is risky, and then wanted to look at the big hospitals have not had no good program, it was transferred to the city hospital, the city hospital's doctor looked at the film and said that if the family wants to surgery can be done if the tumor if it is benign excision is expected to be able to resume walking, but still have to re-do a comprehensive examination, the results came out a look, dumbfounded. The doctor of the city hospital looked at the film and said that if the family wanted to operate, it was possible, if the tumor was benign, it was expected to be able to resume walking after the resection, but it was still necessary to re-do a comprehensive examination, the results of the examination came out, dumbfounded, advanced stage of lung cancer, the tumor on the spine is already a metastasis of lungs above the doctor said that the life of the projected in the three to six months, the treatment of treatment of family members to discuss the decision.

Husband and brother discussed, decided to give up the treatment, go home and serve the old man well, the food and drink, to see what unfinished wishes of the father-in-law to help him realize it, but the mother-in-law has always hoped that the two brothers can pay for treatment, but also understand that the two sons are not able to hundreds of thousands of dollars to fill in also can not guarantee that the person is good, so the heart is very entangled, has always been emotionally involved. Later, my father-in-law died in early August, mother-in-law at the funeral of the two children and scolded and beat, complaining about the husband and his brother two people, no conscience, not to the father-in-law treatment.

In fact, I think the husband and his brother did not do wrong, the old man's condition there, knowing that the treatment went on just spend hundreds of thousands of dollars to buy a peace of mind, and why not stay in the case of the elderly, so that their sons back hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt it, more can be in the old man's deathbed also regardless of the cost of the choice of rescue, a kind of money does not care about, a kind of stupid filial piety, rational choice to give up or to spend money to buy their own peace of mind or have to choose their own. Spend money to buy their own peace of mind or have to choose their own, see which you think is more important.

Over 80 years old, incurable disease, and you want your son to go into debt to save his life?

What the collector Mamadou said, when an old man gets sick, he doesn't think properly.

Zuo Zongtang late in life, hand in hand military power, thinking has been abnormal. Suddenly ordered, mobilized troops, sent troops against the enemy, the commander immediately passed the order, sent troops to attack, the sound of the mountains, the officers and soldiers to turn around, back to the report: the enemy has retreated, the marshal can retreat to the hall to rest.

In fact, the ministry is to amuse the old marshal, they know that there is no enemy, the ministry are all elite, the majesty of the party, not to live up to the marshal's reputation.

The children and grandchildren should consider for themselves in an integrated way, treat conservatively, suffer less pain, live with dignity, go peacefully, and do not have to spend money to find a sin, this is what I advocate.

My second sister went first, the second brother-in-law more than eighty years old, advanced stomach cancer, son filial piety, become a man, not bad money, I said: conservative treatment, home treatment, the eldest child full-time care, the remaining three sons to pay, but also another to the oldest caretaker fee, the second daughter-in-law small dean, treatment at home, the conditions are better, to prepare a point of opioid, to go peacefully.

Netizens say a lot of things, opinions vary, filial piety. Care thoughtful, less suffering, less pain. Unreliable supplements, depending on the financial situation, buy less to taste, surely ineffective, he will die. Surgery? Chemotherapy, after the age of 60 are not recommended radiotherapy, good health, can also be used, targeted drugs have domestic drugs, 400 yuan per month imported drugs, at their own expense. Now included in the medical insurance, monthly out-of-pocket expenses of about 2700 yuan, up to take eight months, after the ineffective, or can not continue to take, targeted drugs are only effective for several diseases, not spend money to buy life. Looking for Toshiba reliable to discuss the treatment program, people and money, resolutely do not.

Let's start with something close to me.

Eunuch is 83 this year, and from the age of 70 onwards he began to say, "I've lived 70 years, that's enough, and in the future, if I get an incurable disease, I mustn't spend that wasted money on me, spend it for nothing, and end up with two empty pockets. Now I'll just eat and drink well, and I won't lose anything in this life."

When he was 81 years old, he always coughed and went to the hospital to check for lung cancer, but his family didn't tell him that it was pneumonia. Then all kinds of treatments started, and he cooperated with all of them, and the treatments were very effective.

However, my father-in-law was educated in junior high school, and every time he went to the oncology hospital, took targeted drugs for lung cancer, and chemotherapy drugs, etc., all of which had clear instructions, I couldn't believe that he didn't know what kind of disease he was suffering from, but he never talked about not going without treatment again. On the contrary, every time he went for chemotherapy, he was very active and asked for a checkup if there was a slight stirring in the wind, and he never mentioned that he was not going to be treated again.

It's been over two years now that I've been in treatment and so far it seems to be working well.

The point of saying this thing is to say that anyone has a desire to live, and it seems that the older you get, the more you fear death.

Now your elderly father has an incurable disease and is asking you to go into debt for his treatment. I think it's better to ask your doctor what kind of results you can expect from the treatment of this disease and how long it will prolong your life.

If there is an improvement in the effect of treatment, which can extend his life by three to five years, you can do your best for him. However, if it has reached the stage where treatment is not necessary, but the 80-year-old man has to make his children lose both their money and their money, I advise you to think twice.

How can you live your life when he is gone and leaves you with a debt? Many children, especially sons, give treatment to the old man with incurable disease, to the point of divorce, the debt is carried, the family is scattered, the old man is soon gone, do you think such treatment is meaningful?

A colleague's father also had lung cancer, and he had never worked a day in his life without saving a penny, relying on his son to work overtime, borrow money, and take out a loan for his treatment day and night.

The doctors said there was no need for treatment, but the old man, who had no money, cursed his son at the hospital for being unfilial and not giving him treatment. Now his son went into debt and divorced to treat him, and he lived less than a year longer and died, saying before he died that his son was ungrateful and didn't operate on him for fear of spending money.

When encountering this kind of confused old man, one should not just be foolishly filial, but should have the ability to discern right and wrong on his own. It is not the case that to fulfill his unreasonable demands is filial piety.

I'm coming through!

I, 64 years old had cancer, on my right kidney, malignant. The good news is that it didn't break down. Surgery, total removal of the right kidney. The cost was about 200,000 dollars. There was no follow-up treatment.

68 year old left kidney necrosis! Triple failure! Kidney failure, heart failure, lung failure. Received at least three critical notices a day from the time he was admitted to the hospital. Every time he was examined, he was notified once.

I learned afterward: the director advised my wife that the old man would surely die and there was no need to spend any more money! Ten thousand a day is too much for anyone. How much savings can the working class consume? My wife said, "I will spend money if I can keep him alive for one more day! I'd sell my house, my car, and I'd do it even if I was broke!

At the time, I only felt tired myself. Because my lungs were full of water. I could only use the qigong I practiced as a child to force myself to breathe. I was still trying to persuade my wife, "Come on, I can't die! I can't die!

When I came back from the dead, I realized a year later that it was extremely dangerous. Director's summary: When you were young, your body was exceptionally strong, your heart exceptionally strong, your willpower exceptionally strong, and your mood extremely optimistic!

I've been in ICU for 30 years, and people less sick than you have died. It was your wife's persistence, your own four. I'll add, and the superb medical skills and tireless efforts of the docs!

I am 75 years old and have been on dialysis for six or seven years.

I told my wife that I would die if I had another serious illness. I set the rules:

Ask the doctor what the prognosis is. If the prognosis is not good, or if the person is not dead but is not in his/her right mind, he/she will not be treated.

Ask the doctor how much it will probably cost. The treatment is only saved if the future life is secured. Otherwise, I will not be saved! Never borrow money to save me, making it impossible to live in the future! In short, do some financial math; you can't just save a person at all costs.

That disaster when I was 68 cost the family 600,000 dollars. It's a good thing my wife can earn money, she's been supporting the family for the past few years. Otherwise, the family was already collapsing. I didn't ask my children to help me with my two serious illnesses. Even if they did, they didn't have any money left over, so why bother!

There was a woman in the village whose parents did not approve of her marrying the man of her choice when she was young, so she blocked her anger and refused to fall in love again, so she never married and had children in her life.

Ever since her parents opposed her marriage, she didn't want to do anything, she just stayed at home every day and depended on her parents to support her. Then when she was thirty, her parents died and she had no one to take care of her, and she didn't want to work herself.

In order to survive, she went to the vegetable market every day, picking up the leaves that other people threw away as well as the pork sellers, leaving a tiny bit of meat behind, accumulating a small amount of meat, and bringing it back to be cooked and eaten. When she was forty years old, she changed and became exceptionally hardworking.

Because her cousin and sister-in-law left the world in an accident leaving a nine-year-old son, at that time relatives were reluctant to take care of the child, and she couldn't bear to see the child without someone to take care of him, so she decided she wanted to work and raise the child to adulthood.

Because her cousin had a well-built and renovated house in the village as well as leaving 20,000 yuan in savings, when she came forward and said she wanted to raise the child, many of her relatives assumed that she wanted the house and the money, and did not genuinely want to raise the child.

But no matter what her relatives said about her, she didn't care. She had never had any dealings with any of her relatives, and had always lived by begging and scavenging, and had never seen any of them help her in the time of her degradation.

So from the time she took on the responsibility of raising her children, she became extraordinarily hard-working, planting her own family's farmland and her cousin's farmland all by herself, for a total of eight acres of fields. In our countryside planting eight acres of fields by herself is a very heavy workload, so she often worked day and night.

After her hard work, after one year, she was living the standard of living of a normal family. Although she had already led a stable life, she did not stop her efforts for the sake of her children's future, and kept on growing eight acres of crops for money every year.

Later, when she was 50, she felt that her body was not as good as it used to be, and she was already more than capable of doing it, which is why she rented out four acres of land to people in the village, and then insisted on planting four acres of it herself. After five years of insisting, she finally couldn't do it anymore.

At the age of fifty-five, she rented out all her fields to the village people, and in order to have a constant chain of funds, she went into the city every day to wholesale vegetables and then transported them back to town to set up stalls. In her sixtieth year, her child got married, and she was surprised to be able to come up with one hundred and fifty thousand dollars for her child's marriage.

From that moment on, relatives looked up to her and no one would still think that she was doing it for her cousin's house and property. Although her children are married and her son and daughter-in-law are very filial, she still insists on selling vegetables at a stall to earn a living.

Later, when she was seventy years old, she fell ill on the street, and it was kind passers-by who sent her to the hospital. After her son and daughter-in-law received the call from the kind man, they put down their work and rushed to the hospital to see her. When her son came to the hospital, he was the first to approach the doctor to find out what was going on.

The doctor said to him: your mother is suffering from terminal cancer, according to our current level of medical care, there is no ability to save her, she may only have about four months to live, I hope that you are prepared for this, but want to stay in the hospital, with medication to give her pain relief.

After learning about his mother's condition, he did not hide it from her but told her everything that the doctors had told him. When his mother learned of her condition, she cried very hard and begged her son and daughter-in-law to save her no matter what.

But her daughter-in-law comforted her, saying: Mom, we are not doctors, and since doctors can't do anything about it, we can't do anything about it, and our family is already poor enough, so consider it for our sake and let us save some money to live on, and don't make a fuss about it, okay?

But her son didn't think so, her son felt it was necessary to continue to seek medical treatment for her no matter what the cost, and there were three reasons that could make her son insist.

1. If she hadn't adopted her and worked hard for her to save up for a wife, she would have been on the street. She would have ended up on the street and would not have had the good life she has today.
2. The whole village knows that she is the one who brought her up and earned money for her schooling and marriage, and if she is not cured, she may be gossiped about back in the village.
3. The doctors at that hospital said that the mother's condition was incurable, but that doesn't mean that all doctors at all hospitals would say that it was incurable, after all, there are people outside of heaven.

Therefore, her son insisted on taking her around to seek medical treatment despite his wife's opposition. Later he took his mother to Yunnan, Fujian, Guangdong, Hunan, four provincial cities to seek treatment in big hospitals, but unfortunately each time in vain, but did not spend much money.

Because when they went for a check-up, the doctor told them the real situation straight away, so although the mother and her son went around looking for a doctor, they only spent the cost of the check-up and the car fare as well as the cost of food and lodging. Later, her son was smart enough to think that just because Western medicine couldn't cure his mother's illness, it didn't mean Chinese medicine couldn't.

So he gave up looking for Western medicine to save his mother and started looking for Chinese medicine to save her. But the doctors of the Chinese medicine practitioners told him that they did not have the ability to save his mother from the terminal stage of cancer, but they might be able to make her live longer and not leave her after a few months.

He felt that at least the Chinese doctor said that it was possible, it was much better than no hope, and Chinese medicine, medicine cost is not high, so he listened to the instructions of the Chinese doctor, insisted on boiling Chinese medicine for his mother to drink, and as a result, her mother passed away only after more than two years.

And it was not as Dr. West said that there might be only four months of life left. Not only that, but his mother did not suffer from the disease too many times during the last two years of her life, and was only in slight pain during the last days of her life.

Because of his persistence, the old man lived two more years, for which he met with a good reputation in our village, and everyone praised him as a man who knew what he was doing and was a filial son.

Author's Opinion:What should be done when the examination concludes that the old man has an incurable disease and the old man asks us to raise debts to pay for his treatment? According to the author, the solution should be based on the following three steps.

1. There are people out there, just because this hospital can't save you doesn't mean another one can't, at least go to three Western medical doctors to check and confirm your condition, and then go to three Chinese medical doctors to check and confirm your condition.
2. When many places to seek medical treatment to no avail, in order to stabilize the mood of the elderly, let them take tonic medicine, kindly lie to tell them that has been saving, did not give up.
3. Try to be there for them, do what you are told, put up with their occasional little tantrums, and do everything you can to keep your patients happy and joyful and not let yourself feel sorry for them.

Our parents are kind to us and as children, we should be filial to our parents and always remember that filial piety is the first of all good deeds. We should not give up just because we have been to one hospital and the results show that there is no cure, but we should know that one mountain is still higher than another, and there are still people outside of people.

Through the article about her, it is because her adoptive son did not abandon her that she had the chance to live for two more years. Their example shows us that everything is possible to have a miracle, as long as we don't give up and try our best, there will be hope.

Even if there is really no hope, at least we have tried our best, so even if the elderly pass away, we can still have a clear conscience. But if we don't take them to the hospital, we will never have peace of mind after they pass away!

summarize

If there is a glimmer of hope, even if we have to sell our money or even put our lives on the line, we will save our parents. After all, they are the ones who gave us our lives, so what's the point of spending money and going into debt for them? If they hadn't given us life, we wouldn't even have the chance to go into debt!

When there is no cure, good lies are possible to use!

My grandfather was more than 80 years old and had cancer of the spout, and the doctor's answer was that he could only have surgery if he wanted to treat it. I found a doctor that I knew, and the advice I got was to treat it conservatively, and I was told that at such an advanced age, I wouldn't even be able to get off the operating table. Even if the operation is successful, this position of the operation, can not eat or drink after the operation, the old man's ability to recover and poor, lying in bed even more suffering. In the end, I went to a lot of hospitals, but also to find a lot of people. The only two answers I got were these two, my uncle, my mom, they were particularly entangled. Cure it, in the end, is the talent two empty, not the heartache of money, but afraid of the old man can not get off the operating table, even if the operation is successful, the old man is also suffering. Conservative treatment, always look at him sick not to make an effort. It's really a mistake to make any kind of choice. My grandfather has never been hospitalized in his life, at most there is a headache and fever take some medicine on the good, not much to go to the hospital to play the needle, mainly do not want the old man dying and then get a knife, and finally the whole family negotiation chose the conservative treatment, the old man finally smoke as usual, drink as usual, in addition to eating is not very good, other than not too much suffering.

Eighty-something years old father terminally ill, let you raise debt for his treatment. I think you can try your best to try, after all, is your own father ah, human life is only once, lost will never come back, is not someone said? Parents in, there is a way to life, parents died, life only return, not to mention that he went to school when you marry, but also all the money to let you successfully complete the big event in life, so that you live a comfortable life, return him is also should be. So, do your best, do not be ashamed of parents, not ashamed of heaven and earth on the line!

If the disease is incurable, there is no need to go into debt for treatment. Because excessive treatment in addition to generating revenue for the hospital, the patient is not only harm to the immune system to bring physical and mental pain, but also to spend all the money can not save life, and ultimately fall into a broken family, both losses. It is better to take supportive symptomatic therapy to reduce the pain. At the same time, children should take good care of the old man in life, in the spirit of the old man as much as possible to let the old man happy, more comfort, more companionship, so that he is calm and peaceful to go through the last journey of life.

Hello, I'm happy to answer your question.

What should the subject do when his father, who is in his eighties, is not incurable anymore and asks the subject to raise a debt to pay for his treatment?

Shahan to talk about his own views, hoping to provide you with some ideas to solve the problem:

01

The subject's 80-something-year-old father has an incurable disease, but the father is asking the subject to go into debt to pay for his treatment, which is still pretty hard when it comes to things like this.

The father wants to go on living and see the world again, but he has an incurable disease and the subject doesn't have that kind of money to pay for his father's treatment.

But as children, we still have to do everything in our power to do what a child should do.

02

The subject's father had an incurable disease, that treatment is certainly not good, but the doctor will also give some advice, give him some life-saving potions and so on, but these potions will certainly have a deadline, such as only one month and two months of life.

In that case, the subject should do his best to save his father's life, even if he lives for a few months, but the subject did his best, and his father won't be angry. The subject will also be more at peace.

03

Is the subject an only child? If not, then the subject can ask other siblings to pay for her father's medical expenses, which will also alleviate some of the burden on the subject, and the subject will not be under so much pressure.

Generally speaking, when people come to the end of life, there will be a lot of reluctance and unwillingness, the subject can find some hospice public welfare organizations, to seek their help, to help the father to accept such a fact, to help the father to realize some of the unfulfilled small wishes, so that the father can be peaceful and comfortable to leave, which is what we as children should do.

These are my insights and I hope they are helpful.

I am Xiahan said, the national second grade psychological counselor. Welcome all friends to follow me and discuss emotional stories with me~

I went to a familiar Dr. Wang at the hospital to try to arrange a bed. Dr. Wang was talking to a middle-aged man, "You must be hospitalized now; let your family do the paperwork." But the man repeatedly asked, "How much does it cost to be hospitalized?" Dr. Wang said, "At your age, your primary concern is to survive, not how much it will cost." The man said, "I've only saved a little more than 170,000 yuan, and I'm still a few tens of thousands of dollars short of a down payment for my son's house. It's okay if I spend less than 10,000, but I'll have to think about spending more than 10,000." Dr. Wang sighed: "That is, you spend all the money in your hand, life preservation is also good, life and house that important?"

The man said, "I feel fine on my own, just my eyes are getting blurry, doctor you prescribe me some medicine, I'll take it for a few days and hold off for a few days before I see it again, okay?" Dr. Wang said, "I suspect that you are bleeding internally, why don't you go and do the ct, if you don't do the test without hospitalization, it's really dangerous."

The man's hand is very rough, holding the checklist opened by Dr. Wang, almost praying, said: "I was hit by a car last night, the driver came over and asked me: "Older brother, good or not." I said: well with ni, no Ma Da (normal), the driver also hard stuffed me two hundred dollars, I took people two hundred dollars, muttering in my heart is not to take people's money, God punished me. Doctor I just blurred eyes, a little pain in the ribs, there will not be anything."

Dr. Wang still insisted that he be hospitalized for examination, "Hospitalization can be reported to the agricultural insurance, you'd better be hospitalized for immediate examination, just bring your ID card." The middle-aged man covered his stomach with one hand and wiped the sweat with the other, "Doctor, I don't have my ID card."

Dr. Wang shook his head, "Hurry back to discuss this and bring your ID to the hospital."

After the patient left, Dr. Wang said, "There's nothing I can do, this patient is dangerous, maybe it's just life."

The next day after I was hospitalized, Dr. Wang came to my ward, "Yesterday that patient was brought to the hospital at 10:30 p.m. by an old-timer, his pupils were already dilated, and the person was unconscious and not resuscitated."

Dr. Wang didn't go into details, and I didn't ask, but my heart was so heavy. A middle-aged man, the pillar of the family, gave up his life in order to buy a house for his son.

Of course, people at this age don't take life and death so seriously. But over 80 years old, after the twists and turns of the human world, now the policy is good, living a good life, that do not want to live. Especially the elderly have three sayings;Fear of death, love of money, no sleep.

It's not true that people aren't afraid of death, especially patients with life-threatening illnesses, and the scribe's heart is too tenacious.

Neighbor's old man, last year checked out lung cancer, when the doctor to find family members to talk, the old man still hold out hope. After the morning checkup, he went to play mahjong in the afternoon and told his mahjong friends about the checkup procedure, and his mahjong friends were quick to say, "Why don't you do a biopsy for cancer, nine times out of ten, you can't avoid it."

Where's the old man?

Still in the mood to play mahjong ah, weekdays for the loss of a ten eight heart uncomfortable people, that day the whole lost more than a hundred, when the game, two mah friends to his home downstairs, sent to the elevator before going home.

The old man went home and let out a loud cry, and the old woman called her son in a hurry, "Did you tell your father the results, he'll be wailing and wailing and wailing."

The old lady couldn't stop crying, and when the old man heard the old lady crying, he was paralyzed.

The son took the medical records to a few doctors to look at them, and the doctor he knew said, "Treatment can only prolong it for a while, and you can live for a while without treatment, depending on what the old man wants, you can make a decision."

hemp friends to visit home: "old brother, well slow, want to eat what you want to eat some, want to do what you want to do, if you want us, we come to your home to accompany you to play a few rounds."

The old man is the old high school students in the past, the stomach has ink, read the newspaper and read the news, and understand that on this disease in front of the head is not to go ah, can only be counted every day by the day.

But the old lady can not, out of the old couple of years of savings of two hundred thousand, asked the son: "the disease must be treated, not enough money to sell the house." The son listened to the doctor's friend's advice, intended to be conservative treatment, this age to do surgery, the recovery is very slow, it is better to take advantage of the present, live a few days.

The old man looked at the old lady with such a deep sense of justice, and also asked for the operation: "You give me medical treatment, and when I get well, I'll stay with your mom, she'll be pitiful if I'm gone."

The son could not face the old father and mother's tears offensive, their hearts are also under pressure, no surgery without chemotherapy, it is really not good to give aunts and uncles to account for the aunts and uncles to say that the disease.

Then there is only treatment for the sake of treatment, surgery, chemotherapy, after surgery the old man was very weak, the old lady stewed ginseng, cordyceps, the old man with a nosebleed face but much better.

Chemotherapy caused the old man pain again, then came back from the dead for six more months before the clock struck New Year's Eve in 2000 and he sailed away.

The old lady realized her promise, sold the house to the old man with the best imported drugs, but the 80-year-old body can not resist the expansion of cancer cells, more than 10,000 a imported drugs also did not retain the old man to take the crane's footsteps.

The old lady is now living in the same neighborhood of the son's home, she stayed in the son's home is not accustomed to, everything is white, her white hair fell to the ground, daughter-in-law sharp eyes, quickly pick up the finger to spare two rounds, thrown in the garbage can.

When the sky is clear, you can always see the old lady sitting in the sun on a small horse, at first alone, she is always the first to come out, later in the yard one after another out of the old lady. The old lady will be uncomfortable, sister-in-law Li like sister-in-law Xianglin: "You do not sell the house on the good, people left the house in, you see now the house is gone, people also gone."

Human life may seem to be at the mercy of God, but in fact money rules part of it.If the middle-aged man has free money in the hands of two hundred thousand, life will be prolonged, live to help his son old with grandchildren. If the neighboring old man, money is also generous people also look down, life may be more than a year and a half, the house is living in an old lady, lonely breakfast in the morning, boredom in the afternoon watering the flowers.

A few days ago, I saw an article, is a famous Beijing tumor hospital chief physician, his father suffered from cancer, he through contacts and domestic classmates colleagues foreign counterparts to do the consultation. Eventually did the surgery, but after opening nothing, the first chemotherapy drugs used only a quarter, and then by reducing.

A year later he returned home with his father, who was much worse for wear, but alive, not knowing how long he would live.

The chief physician treats the father in this way, we raise debts to save the old father, the mood is understandable, but the power is too disparate. After all, the borrowed money does not stand, the person left the money still have to return.