Seeing this question from you reminded me of a female nanny online some time ago who asked if she should be in a relationship with the man she serves or continue to be a nanny.

The answer from many of you is to keep babysitting.There really isn't much of an emotional component to remarriage for older people, and more consideration seems to be given to practicality.

So there is nothing wrong with the heroine making such a request.

1. the security of the elderly is no longer going to be a windy love affair

Old age is defined as the period between the age of 60 and death, with the United Nations defining 60 to 65 as the starting point for old age. When we talk about the word "old age", we are referring to the period from 60 to 65 years of age.

We associate it more with "aging" and "senescence".Well, when we talk about older people remarrying, the average man thinks more in terms of "practicality".

That is, the woman is able to serve herself, take good care of herself, and of course the most important thing is hardworking, cooks well, clean and hygienic, gentle, with all the characteristics of a live-in nanny, and then plus have feelings for herself.

And the woman? The requirements for the other half are also much more pragmatic and honest - as long as the person is nice. The concept of being nice has more of an honest element to it.

However, human nature is a complicated thing, and an honest man can change. He is not once felt by everyone to be an honest man, and after instilling the name of an honest man he will be for the rest of his life.

Hold yourself to the standard of an honest man to any man.

It's also true that we've seen too many remarried female friends in real life, serving and taking care of their men, when they could walk and move.

However, there are real-life examples of men choosing to abandon their women when they are too sick to move, or men who basically take little account of remarried women when they feel they have reached the end of their days and leave an inheritance.

The predominant personality trait that characterizes people as they enter old age is insecurity.So, having lived most of your life, which of the security supports is the safest?

老年A lot of people don't think of relationships anymore, especially women who have been emotionally scarred in the first half of their lives.

In their view, remarriage means finding someone to live with, that is, finding an old partner. But men, especially those who are now in the period of old age, the

Most of them aren't very good at housework, so one of the primary purposes of getting married is actually to get a free babysitter, and a lot of women are aware of the fact that

It is also understood.

However, because of old age, children are not around, in order to rule out the feeling of loneliness of the elderly, and to warm each other up a bit, even if you know that you have to be a free babysitter is also a choice that you have no choice.

At this time, if the man proposes AA, the woman who agrees to it is probably either not clear, or there is still an element of love for this man.

The nanny I mentioned at the beginning started out as a hospital escort, her own husband died many years ago, and she herself, because she had to raise her kids through college.

Then he became a chaperone. While chaperoning the man, the man found the woman to be very attentive, and offered to let her babysit when he was discharged from the hospital.

The woman refused to take care of his three meals a day at their home because the nanny's salary was not as high as the escort's. The man had no choice but to raise the nanny's salary to the same amount as that of the escort.

Only then did the woman agree. After taking care of the man for a few months, the man expressed his love for the woman, who was more or less happy.

Since her husband had died many years ago, she had come alone, but she had rationally accounted for what was better for her as a nanny or a wife.

When inquiring online, many people are telling her to continue as a nanny with the guy again. Because the nanny gets paid, even if the guy passes away first one day.

The woman also has a good income to go to a nursing home, but if you spend time with the man as his wife, then all the care you do for him.

That's all going to become free in the mode of marriage.Because when we're talking about marriage, doing chores is not counted as an accounting cost. Because everything you do comes with an emotional component to it.

It will be perceived as an expression of your love for him.

However, when the man is old, what do you say you get to retire, remarried, the house is pre-marital property O.

So, the woman's security will no longer be placed on windy love affairs.

2. From the woman's point of view, this request is not excessive

When I say not excessive, I mean from the woman's point of view, because after marriage, the woman is literally the one who takes on more of the housework in a family.

Take the people who are now entering their senior years, many men are the ones who have interpreted the title of being a big man with their behavior in one home.

There are a lot of men who do not enter the kitchen for the rest of their lives, and housework is a mandatory duty for women, and it is not only men who have this perception, it is also a lot of women of that generation who have this perception.

I'm surrounded by a lot of that generation I've seen grocery shopping are very few, some of the wives are still employed, you see, being served the usual man you make her change in her old age, the

Doesn't that require the sun to come out of the west?

So, the man in the question is also a man who never does housework, or is not good at it, I think for the time being! Then, according to the essence of marriage.

Your goal in remarrying at this point in your life must have been to get a free babysitter, because the kids don't need to be born again, and you must both be the type to have kids of your own.

And this free babysitter also needs to be the kind of X-partner with an emotional component, the community of interest in the essence of marriage you've obviously weeded out when you proposed AA.

(You don't need to feel abject about what I'm saying here, because you're abject about bringing up AA when you're talking about marriage)

So.The woman will then think more about her security, perhaps already smart, or perhaps triggered when you brought up AA.

The woman will also account for the fact that she has to take care of you and cook and do your laundry every day after the remarriage while you AA, so does everything she does become free?

What will she do when you're gone? All your possessions are pre-marital. What's the point of staying together?

If you were to put yourself in the woman's shoes, you would think that the kind of request the woman is making is right and reasonable. And then there's this.

If you feel that the woman's demands are too much, you are also allowed to stop marrying and hire a nanny for the purpose of taking care of yourself.

You can account for the cost of hiring a live-in nanny to take care of you.

There is no harm without comparison. One can only tell which one is better and which one is more cost-effective after comparison.

I am a creator in the field of emotion, like to study marriage, gender relations, hate moralizing, like to dig the root of things to analyze the problem, if you like welcome to follow me!

An old man in our neighborhood remarried a few years after his wife passed away after a long illness, but he separated again after less than six months of marriage. The reason was too heartbreaking.

He was originally a retired middle-level cadre of an enterprise. He has a house and savings. His family is in good condition. 65 years old. His wife died two years ago. He was not prepared to remarry, but his children are too busy with their work and do not usually live together, especially after his last illness, his dependence on his family is getting stronger and stronger. So the intention of twilight love was born. He was introduced to a 61-year-old aunt who was also widowed. This aunt had no retirement pay. Previously and son in law to live together, life is not as satisfactory, and now think of marriage, good to have their own home, to look at the face of the daughter-in-law than much stronger. So both sides in the consent of the children, held a simple wedding, but also took wedding photos. In fact, our neighborhood has become a news figure.

However, the good times don't last long. Married less than half a year, this aunt once overheard his partner in his son on the phone, said he wanted to take the time to transfer the house to his son first. The family's fixed deposits are also handed over to the son to keep, the retirement salary is enough, they take good. Auntie listened to the heart of mixed feelings, think the old partner this is in defense of their own, after all, halfway couples do not make friends, she recalled that she used to watch the TV news, and her conditions similar to the aunt, remarried, for nothing, to the people as a nanny for a few years, the old man passed away, it was swept away by the old man's children, and their own not even a deposit. It is as a nanny, picking up rags, but also a little deposit balance ah. So she had a fight with the old man about this. The two ended up disagreeing. Married for six months, and finally ended up in divorce.

Young couples grow old, young people's marriages may be considered most often in terms of affection, but for older people, affection becomes less important, or at least there really isn't much of it, and more consideration is given to the practicalities of remarriage.

For the woman it is equal to finding long-term dependence in life, while she needs to pay for it, working like a nanny. The income is the cost of living for one's own food, clothing and shelter.

For the man, who has some financial means and is too lonely to live alone in old age, find a life partner. It's more comforting than hiring a nanny, and probably more intimate than hiring a babysitter to take care of it.

The remarriage of the elderly, for the woman, is mostly to find a life to rely on; but who will go first, who will go second who can say yes? Thinking of many remarried elderly, swept away after the death of their partners, it is inevitable that they will not be sad. Therefore, there is no problem for the woman to make such a request before marriage, not thinking of each other's property, but wanting to give themselves more security in their old age. It is not excessive.

After remarriage, the way of living is a very important issue, which may lead to a break-up. Whether to adopt the AA system or the man to pay all the expenses depends on the income of the man and the woman and other conditions. This issue should be discussed in advance, do not be embarrassed to say, to say the ugly words to the front.

As far as I know, most of the remarriages of older people are based on the following scenarios: the man pays for all the living expenses, but the woman pays for her own clothes and outings, and travel expenses are paid by the woman under the "AA" system. There is also a way to put the money of the two of them together, living expenses are not discussed, and when it is necessary to spend large sums of money, both sides will discuss it.

Under China's thousands of years of feudalism, women have been discriminated against, basically not participating in social activities, earning no money, doing housework at home, and having no social or family status. The idea that the man is the master of the house and the woman is the master of the family, and that "marrying a man and getting married to a man for clothes and food" has been deeply rooted in the mindset. Modern women are very different they can be compared with men, men and women with equal pay for equal work income is not less than men, some may also be more than men. But most of the older women married or do not want to spend their own money, the main idea is: what do I serve you? What do I want? But some rural women already have no income, marrying is a home life, let them AA is not realized. On the other hand, women retired early, relatively low wages, they think men should pay more, do not want to let men take advantage of "cheap". There are also some women who always think that they can save a little bit is a little bit, leaving money for the children, that is, there is a motherly heart.

Most men with high incomes can figure out that spending more money is also willing to figure a pleasure. Some men with low incomes are very difficult, if you let yourself all inclusive, not enough money to earn the two individuals to spend, the idea is very beautiful, the reality is very bone.

Elderly people remarriage should be heavy evening love, to mutual consideration, not in the money on the influence of a good marriage, the important thing is: whether your ideological pulse is the same, life interests, hobbies are the same, whether the three views are the same. Whether men or women, want to get along together for a long time, these are the most important.

Many modern women have the ability to live independently and don't hold much hope for remarriage, they will have high standards for choosing a spouse and are still very picky about men. It is really difficult for a man to remarry if he doesn't have enough ability and good personal grooming. Men also need to be tailored and well-considered, not easily remarried, think twice before acting, and be responsible for both sides. You should think twice before remarrying and be responsible for both parties. You can only remarry if you are willing to spend money for the woman. Of course, day after day, if the man is good enough, pay true love, time after time the woman will also truly love you, is a family of money are not a matter of fact, it depends on what happened between you, how the feelings develop.

Love has nothing to do with age, seniors love when they want to, open your arms and bravely embrace those you love. Let money serve love, and love will be with you all your life. May all lovers in the world be united in love.

When an older person remarries and the woman raises objections to AA and lives entirely on the man, will the man accept it? There may be men who don't accept it. But I know of a couple of remarried elderly people, and the man accepted it.

A relative and coworker, a woman in her fifties married a retired man in his sixties. Married for over three years and happy so far.

The woman was divorced in her thirties and remained single. Then her children got older and supported her in finding another partner. The man was widowed in middle age and didn't look for another. His children have all started their own families and he has retired. His idea of finding a companion was also recognized by his children. Someone matched them up and they got married.

The woman had said before that she did not earn a good salary and only had enough money to spend on herself. After the two remarried, all living expenses would be paid by the man, but she would do all the housework. The man said he had no problem with this.

The two of them are living a very cozy life after marriage, and they even traveled abroad last year. It is obvious that the man treats the woman very well, and the woman is also very good at taking care of people. The man's children have jobs and he doesn't have to subsidize them, so his pension is enough for both of them.

Although the woman said before that her salary is only enough for herself, she is not penny wise and pound foolish. She also buys the man some clothes and stuff from time to time, and also buys gifts for his grandchildren. All of this is her own money.

Now the two of them get along well and the children of both families support them. The two of them are also considered to be in a state of bitterness and sweetness. I hope they have a long and happy sunset.

Older people remarried, not easy, the most sensitive is the economic involvement. Coordinated well, can have a happy old age; not dealt with, not only no happiness to speak of, but instead become the laughing stock of relatives and friends.

Therefore, the elderly remarriage, must be treated with caution, never just for the sake of freshness.

Young couples grow old together, the elderly remarried, is just to find a partner to partner life. Talking about feelings, but not so strong, so living a life to talk about economic issues naturally can not be avoided.

In my mother's family, there were two old people who remarried and lived with each other for decades, but the old man died of cancer the year before last and left nothing for the old woman. The old man's son and daughter-in-law didn't want to support her, so they gave her and her ex-husband's son 20,000 yuan to take her away.

When an elderly person remarries, what does she want? The woman can still cook and do housework for the man every day, wait for him to dress and eat, and possibly help with the grandchildren, so what can the man give her?

Is it just this old man's age? That he smells of old age? That in a few years he'll have a crooked mouth and a drooling mouth?

So think about it differently, something has to give, right, even if you get a babysitter don't you have to be paid every month?

Of course, do not rule out that some women have ulterior motives. If you really want to find a partner to live, you can not get a license, you can also let the children before the marriage to do the property notarization, so as not to get involved in these special trouble, peace of mind, the woman does not want to live. If just normal life, the man out of the living expenses, the woman to take care of household chores. Time to get along for a long time with feelings, if the woman has money, nature will also subsidize, if the woman does not have a pension no income, then do not think about it, they do not go out to work at a certain age to earn living expenses and you live? And it's not possible to ask your children for money to live with you, is it? It would be better not to look for them, right?

If you insist on AA, then pick a rich old lady before you look before you look, otherwise AA won't work.

Older people remarry for a purpose, older men remarry to find a free babysitter, older women remarry to find a free place to eat and live, and if the woman proposes to rely on the man for all her living, this is not too much, and the man should accept it.

Older people generally remarry for two reasons.

I. Remarriage forced by life.

I live in a neighborhood where Little Jon's mom is like that.

1, Xiao Qiang in high school, his father died, his mother did not work, has been by odd jobs to maintain the life of the two women, Xiao Qiang and his mother live in his father's life left behind 68 square feet, two rooms and one hall house.

Xiao Qiang graduated from high school, because of their own academic performance is not good, the family's economy also can not reach to go to two or three colleges and universities, it is too early to join the workforce to earn money.

As he grew older, Xiao Qiang reached the age of starting a family, because of the family's poverty, by the age of 32, finally found a 26-year-old woman without a diploma, also living on a part-time job to get married.

2, after marriage, two women living in two rooms, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law war began.

First, the daughter-in-law resented her mother-in-law for not cooking well, and then she resented her mother-in-law for not being hygienic.

Once a daughter-in-law dislikes her mother-in-law, she is no good to her own husband either, hanging her face every day and slamming the door in her face.

The mother-in-law understands in her heart, this is to dislike their own, the child is 32 years old is not easy to get married, if they let them move out, the son's low wages, the rental costs can not afford to buy a house, let alone think about it, can not afford to buy.

The only way to do that is to remarry while you're well and make room for a child.

When Xiao Qiang's mom was thinking of remarrying, she asked around to see if there were any suitable candidates.

There are really older men who fit her bill.

Elderly man is 75 years old, widowed, still able to take care of himself, 13 years older than Xiao Qiang's mom, he is retired from the institution, the retirement pension is about five thousand, the children at home have moved out, and now the old man lives alone.

The old man knew that Xiao Qiang's mom had no income, so he told her that he would be willing to put aside 2,000 yuan a month for his pension, and would be responsible for the daily expenses of the two of them. She would pay the utility bills and property fees separately.

Xiao Qiang's mom calculated in her heart, two thousand dollars of living expenses, if you cook and eat at home is also enough.

It's not overly demanding now, as long as there are meals, a place to stay, and I can get away from home as soon as possible, I'm satisfied.

The two old people meet, will not disdain the height, beautiful or not this kind of external image, only to see if the woman is a real person, can cook.

Coming from a poor background, Xiao Qiang's mom naturally cooks and cleans up the household, doesn't spend money lavishly, and buys groceries with a careful eye.

The two tried living together for a month, which wasn't so perfect, but solved the immediate dilemma for both parties.

The next month, Xiao Qiang's mom went home and took all her changes of clothes with her and stayed at the old man's house completely.

The old man since his partner left for half a year, three meals a day is also a will, the children come back is also a look and go, can not help substantial help.

Now, someone buys groceries and cooks, helps with laundry, saves money on babysitting, the old man is happy, and the kids are relieved.

Little Keung's mom, who was also happy to find free food and shelter without having to pay for it herself.

Xiao Qiang's daughter-in-law, since her mother-in-law left home, the mood has changed for the better, to Xiao Qiang, warm and considerate, the two mouths love as before.

Remarriage for old people like this is the best way to live.

II. Fraudulent remarriage in old age。

The woman has a retirement pension and lets her own children take the passbook and spend it any way they want.

After remarriage, the man pays for living expenses, and the woman takes the living expenses and saves all kinds of money, still subsidizing her children with the money she saves.

After a long time, the man is not a fool, see through the woman is not sincere life, and finally broke up.

The remarriage of the elderly is a temporary partnership that will not last long, because if something happens to the other person's health, they will still go back to their own homes and look for their own children.

There are many such examples around, remarried old men, living together for 20 or 30 years, both in good health, spending the old man's money, and the children are not disturbed, as soon as the old man dies, the other is claimed by the children, and the house still belongs to the man's children.

Advise older people to remarry and make sure to state who will pay for the alimony payments, preferably in writing, the more detailed the better.

For example.

1, the standard of monthly living expenses, utilities, gas, property costs, by the man.

2, both sides of the human debt, it is best to pay each. Because the relationship is not the same, it is inevitable that this is not the same, affecting the relationship between the two people.

3. The house in which they live will be returned to the children of the original occupants in the future.

This is clearly documented and avoids a lot of unnecessary trouble later on.

When an older man remarries, if the man is financially strong, he can put aside a portion of his pension for the two of them.

Never give all of your pension to the woman, some older women, take the money of the old man remarried, subsidize their own children, wait until the old man can not take care of themselves, stand up and leave, without a little bit of emotion, then regret it will be too late.

The woman should cherish the happiness of her later years, put her heart in the right place, the days of the elderly are limited, the income is limited, do not count the money of the elderly man, only the two people are happy and enjoyable together, is the best way of life.

This kind of ROP is really hard to say, we have a buddy here, acquaintance, more than ten years ago, the death of his partner, I am in my early sixties, someone introduced a woman, more than fifty points, there is a daughter on the sophomore, good things, one to two, the two live together, the woman has a hand to bend the wrist, there is a scheme of the heart, the daughter is well behaved, to serve the man comfortably in place, the man's heart is in a blaze of joy, all the expenses of the home, the daughter went to school until graduation, work, etc., all the men save, until buying a house, mother and daughter handled, looking out into the happy happy family, and so on house arrangements on the continuation of the house. Men's savings, until the purchase of a house, mother and daughter a hand, looking out into the happy happy family, such as houses, work arrangements on the continuation of the mother and daughter treating the man a day as a day before and after less than ten years, the old man and back to his old house, others asked, feel ashamed, but also unwilling to tell people, the child does not stay, the woman did not see, leaving a laugh to people, after dinner, talk about laughing for a few years, spend the world, nothing is strange! The ROC is a place where people think twice about what they want to do! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Remarried life economy all rely on the old man, this is the old man is looking for the rhythm of death, jumping into the fire pit of the short see! What is the real purpose of remarrying an old man? Is to have a companion, is to be able to have sex. All other reasons are self-deceptive and grandiose. It has been famously said that there is still the condition and opportunity to remain together by considering the physical ability of the other person. A thousand times true!

Therefore, if the old man is willing to go through fire and water, there is no argument. If the heart is not willing, coupled with the children of the first marriage, real estate and other constraints, and even the woman is not even AA or not willing to pay out a penny to maintain the two sides of the life, it is in the name of cohabitation to extort money from the remarried old man, draining the last drop of blood and sweat of the old man.

Older men also need to know themselves, and now the money society, if the consumption of consumption, if the power is not enough, there is no need to do "take advantage of women" thing, more self-respect, calm, open eyes, distinguish between true and false, can withstand the "temptation", can stand! Ordeal, is to cover their own money bags, defend their interests, so that they have the dignity of old age, do not leave "for the old and disrespectful" reputation.

Therefore, we advise old men to stay away from women who are "a dime a dozen" for better health, warmer wallet (money) and a more comfortable life.

Focus on the emotional topics and tell me what I think.

"Elderly people remarry, the woman raises objections to AA, and all of their lives depend on the man", I think that makes sense. Think about it, people come to live with you and have to bring their own living expenses, what's the difference between that and living alone?

To be honest, if the man wants to find a nanny, not only do you have to feed and house them, but you also have to pay for their expenses! You are "remarried" to your old partner, can you let them AA? So, I think most people can accept the woman's idea.

If the remarried woman also has financial resources, such as a retirement paycheck, etc., then the woman should also put aside some money to supplement the household. You can't rely on the man to spend every penny and keep all your own money in a private room, can you? With that kind of distraction, the marriage will be in jeopardy over time.

Therefore, since they have come together, they should understand each other, trust each other and depend on each other. Only in this way can the foundation of marriage be stronger and we can live the rest of our days happily.

Read your question, the woman must not have a source of livelihood want to find a dependence, if your economic life is good now is quite good, the children's life is also quite good, should be considered to live a good life in old age, each other have a care and love, but also free of the children's pawing and worry, if I am a child must hope that Dad's life is happy and happy happy. If in the reality of the economic situation, the children's life is not ideal! If you are still concerned about them, then give up your marriage in your old age. If you have money, real estate, children's lives have a class, there are quite good, and recognize their own marriage, then write a will to arrange who should be given to who, the rest and the woman to enjoy a happy life together, people old age have a companion to take care of each other in their old age, love and care for each other, help each other, each other, each other's thoughtfulness, each other's love is also a beautiful, filial piety of the children again also have their families busy, busy work, do not give the children to add a burden. The above is a little bit of my own opinion, just for the sake of the children. The above is my own opinion, just for reference. Wish you have a good marriage!